The Cuban Blitzkrieg Tour

7 days is really not enough to experience what is without doubt a fantastic, beautiful, backwards and vibrant country like Cuba. One of primary goals was to suba dive in Maria La Gorda, one of Jacques Cousteau's top 10 dive spots in the world. Maria La Gorda is located at the southwest tip of the country and while there's a very tourist bus that goes there, we rented a car. At the of my last post I mentioned we rented a beat up Chinese made rental car called a Geely. Beat up in the sense that every time we hit a pot hole the front left strut would bottom out, dents ans scratches all over and the roads and driving were the reason why.  The only cars on the road were in the cities and people use the roads for walking

 and horse drawn 2 wheel buggies more than cars.

The Local Taxi, The Common Obsticle

Some time the driving was slow going, sometimes we could haul a little booty. I gotta say that Geely could manage to get up a little hustle, hitting speeds of 160 Kph without too much difficulty. Dont ask me how I know. 

Get Out The Road You Damn Cyclists!

Finally reaching Maria La Gorda (or Fat Maria) with the tell tale dive sign.

There's a Whole Lotta Woman To Love

And of course the beachfront room with a view left nothing to be desired

Puede Ser Peor, no?

Havana Part II o Capitulo Dos

So rested and regrouped shall I continue? Its a silly rhetorical question as you wouldn't be here if you weren't interested or or least getting paid for reading this while supposedly doing some other employer related income generating activity.

Without any further adieu sigo con mi cuenta....

There's a part 2 to the Havana Club Bar Video which is really just an out take of part one shown here. I think the sound is a little better than video.

When we parted, and such sweet sorrow it was, I was here...

Government Owned,  Artesanal Goodness, Without  All Hassles Like Pursuit of Profit

From up top the layout looks a little like this...

Objects in Picture May Be Smaller Than Actual Size

 Yes, it looks EXACTLY like it did in the 1950's, in fact one tourist commented, and I agree, that its like time stopped in the 50's and a delayed reaction bomb has slowly detonating for 60 years. Most of the building are buildings are crumbling and people have died from balconies falling on them. Regardless, (Yes, MHH, not irregardless,) Cuba is without a doubt the most vibrant, backwards, colorful, crazy and most beautiful country I've ever visited.

Maybe a little orientation is in order. ALL, or at least most all, businesses are government owned; hotels, rental car agencies, shops etc. What the government doesn't own they get the biggest piece of, for instance, to own your own business in Cuba means paying 55% to the government. I assume that's gross not net. All Cubans get food, housing, education and health care for free whether they work or not. Most Cubans are not in a hurry as there's no profit related incentive. Here, if its a one person job patching a hole in a sidewalk there's six people doing it. Another perfect example: Waiting for the luggage from the flight to hit the carousel in the airport. What would be a 10 minute wait ANY where else in the world (even China) is an hour or better here.

Since all the basic necessities are provided for working peoples wages are extremely low. An example is Lupe, the aforementioned spouse of our new friend Bruno, is a doctor in charge of an entire floor of a hospital and earns a paltry $25 a month. The Government wants to keep the people poor says Bruno, so they ban the Internet and control speech and control everything. This is not however without certain advantages which I'll expand on later, but as a teaser I'll just say that as tourist, the Cigars and Rum are the same price at the airport as they are at the factory store.

The monetary system is a bit curious here. One Cuban Peso equals exactly one US dollar, which makes me wonder if that's a coincidence. Also there's a secondary currency called Moneda Nacional. Its what the locals use for the collectivos (shared Taxis) and for small day-to-day purchases. 

The 3 Peso "Che" Note

Meanwhile, here's a tour of the Havana skyline as told by the live view "periscope" style viewpoint.

Che Guevara is the communist propaganda martyr and is pictured on about everything here

Its a Little Reminiscent of the Whole "Hope and Change" Logo

I must admit I was slightly moved by the spirit of solidarity and rebelliousness.

Viva Che! Down With The Yankee Imperialists!

Its pretty cheap to be a tourist in Cuba. The Hotel Ingleterra, a 4 star hotel pictured here in series, costs $110 a night. Slower than dial up speed (or worse) Internet cost $8 an hour though and is almost unusable.

Further on, we stumbled across the US embassy, long out of use. Apparently a bunch of "anti-imperialist" flags were flown in front of the embassy on to be taken down when Obama was elected.

Before

After (Other Angle Though)

And with that I'll post a picture of the car Paula and rented. Its Chinese made, most likely a copy of some Honda, and already beat the fuck up after only 39,000 Kilometers. This is what it looks like.

The Chinese Made "Geely"

This next picture is what your Geely looks like when it runs out of gas in the middle of the Cuban countryside 100 Kilometers from anywhere.

Can You See the Difference In The Two Fotos? 

Fortunately that isn't what actually happened but near tragedy did strike plus it makes a great cliffhanger when Pablo Travels returns from this short unabashed plug for the most generous sponsor and best people to do business with for all your insurance needs...

Proudly and Blindly Sponsoring Pablo's Travels For 22 Years

Viva Cuba Libre (really this time, I promise)

Cuba, yes. I´ve still not finished with Tulum but here´s the rest of the story in pictures. Aren´t they supposed to be worth a thousand words? The rest of the album is over at flikr.com which you can see by clicking here or haz clik aqui, si prefieres...

Cuba, yes Cuba. I have to admit I wanted to go there largely because we, as Americans, aren´t supposed to. It appeals to the rebel in me and my insatiable desire to trample the bushes off the beaten path. I´m told its not actually illegal for American citizens to visit Cuba, its just illegal to spend money there because of the embargo. I´m also told that the law isnt enforced. Not that I really care that much, sometimes I just like trouble, uhhh certain kinds of trouble that it is.

I must admit all the propoganda we hear in the United States about how evil fidel and the communists in Cuba are had me a little apprehensive going through customs into Cuba. They really check you there. Ask a ton of questions make you smile for the camera. To make matters worse, Paula and I got the extra 3rd degree, they took our passports and made us wait for a supervisor, (and everyone else in line behind us as well,) who came and asked all kinds of questions like, are you bringing photographic equipment? Do you have satillite communication equipment? and so and so forth. Actually I´m not really sure if it was us they cared about or whether they were sending a message to the other travelers, something like, "Next time, don´t stand in line behind the Americans." I think I violated gentlemens protocol by playing the dumb American that speaks very little Spanish and let Paula do the talking, which she did very well.

In Cuba they import anything so its not unusual to see car tires wrapped in plastic, toaster oven, or other unusual objects coming through the conveyor belt with your luggage. The Cuban government imposes huge tariffs on anything imported and its only predicted to get worse in September when tariffs are expected to rise to 100% of value. So if you bring in a $100 car tire, you pay a $100 import tax. 

Paula made friends with an Italian businessman named Bruno and we became fast friends. He helped through customs and waited for us to get our baggage. Its worth noting here that since everything is government owned they are in NO hurry, especially when it comes to unloading the baggage from the airplane. Bruno turned out to be a great resource as well as a friendly guy and took us to a "casa particular." Which is just a private residence where travelers rent a room from the owner of the house. All the tourist accomadations have air conditioning (that I saw) including hotels, casa particulares etc which is handy as its 90+ degress and 75% humidity. To the unacclimated its like getting out of the shower but never drying off, ever. Later that night we went to dinner with Bruno and his second wife Lupe at (of course) an Italian restaurant.

Where´s Waldo Again?

So lets tour a little of Havana shall we? Bruno and Lupe took us on tour of Havana´s center starting with a pedi cab ride to "heaven."

Can You Guess Whether the Dura-Ace is 9 or 10 Speed?

Heaven, I have arrived and your name is the Partagas Cigar Factory Outlet Store.

I think I could die happy right now


Inside it was a variable cornucopia of fesh cigar smells oh so yummy I think I´d like my ashes interned in a humidor somewhere inside. There were so many yummies to choose from, but ultimately, it Partagas series D no 4´s (or 5´s) that really are my favorites.


Oh Scrumptous Nicotine Goodness How I Love Thee

Shortly after what ensued was nothing less than nicotine adled bliss.

Further on the tour I met an old friend and had a chat about the meaning of symbolism in literature.

The Way I See It Is...

And what city would be complete without a crazy signing guy?

Further along we took we hit the Havana Club Rum Factory where Paula got her Salsa on. The video is a little dark, sorry cheap camera, but worth watching and listening especially.




And with that, I will pause to take a breath, rest, regroup and recoup my energy. I hope to entertain you once more with Havana part 2...

Viva Cuba Libre, but not just yet!

It has come to my attention that perhaps I may have included only the extreme details when describing my last two weeks of adventure in my opening paragraph of my last post. In fact there are much calmer details I may have left out in the interest of poetic license and Pablo Hyperbolie. I´d just like to take the opportunity to set the record straight.

Before I get to the subject title of this post I want to waste a few more minutes of your employers time and share a few more details and fotos about Tulum.

Some of you may have been under the impression that the grass hut I stayed in was lacking in the traditional amenities that Pablo has become accustomed to. Au contraire... There was a private toilet.

Composting Away Odorless and Silent

The shower, however, had no hot water. 90 degree temps and 75% humidity eliminate the need.

Cold Showers Were Also Necessary For The Traditional Purpose

I´d explain the above caption but lets just say that it had to do with the "woman of my dreams" and I´ll expand on that by saying "Machete don´t text, and Pablo don´t kiss and tell"

Sometimes at really fancy hotels you get a welcoming bouquet of flowers or a bottle of champagne or perhaps a free drink in the bar. Here the grass huts come with a welcoming committee in the sink. Every time I got near him he seemed to be "clapping his cute little hands" but I could be mistaken.

Those are little tiny "clappers" right?

 

I told myself, I said, "Self, let´s just be a little adventurous of an eater this time and keep it to traditional foods considering the GI distress of the previous few years." So did I do that? Not exactly...

I Mean Really, What Can A Little BBQ/baked/Fried Squid REALLY Hurt?





Nooooooooooo!

On a final Tulum note, I can´t seem to stop pouring sweat. 4-5 liters of water a day is about the norm just to stay hydrated around here. To give you an idea, here´s a photo at 1am in the morning with Pablo bathing in his own sweat, wondering, "Is there a pill to acclimate to humidity?"

Pablo The Sweat-A-Saurus With Hot Chick At His Left

The days were unforgettable and the nights even more so. While this has been my best trip ever, there´s PLENTY more stories and adventures in the pipeline. With that I bid you all adeiu and remind you that you can comment freely, opening and anonymously.

Now get back to work! 



The Oooom in Tulum

I MUST be having fun as its been two weeks now that I´ve been on the road without a post. In my defense there was some time in Cuba, an internet black hole, but other than that my excuses are paltry at best.

So in one breath I´m going to catch you up to date. and go...

I flew to Cancun, a ride with a friend to Tulum, stayed in grass hut with an outhouse on the beach with no electricity, got 437 1/2 mosquito bites (don´t ask where the 1/2 came from) went scuba diving in caves (cenotes,) until I got blisters on my toers from the fins, fell in love with the woman of my dreams, made out with her on the beach under the stars with the waves lapping at our feet, danced the night away, got the old "Let´s just be friends" *deep sigh* Flew to Cuba toured Havana bought a box of Partagas Series D no.5 cigars went scuba diving at Maria la Gorda (One of Jacque Costeaus top ten in the world) blazed through Cuba on a whirlwind tour in a chinese made rental car at a 160 kph, saw Vinales, Vardadero, Trinidad and Playa Giron, hit a buzzard, got a camera ticket (REALLY?), bribed the cop, happened on a "End of Summer Party" which was madness in Santa Clara toured the Che Guavara Monument and the Bay of Pigs museum, which was fascinating BTW flew back to Tulum rented a car drove to Chichen Itza and am currently resting at a really cool hostel recommended by a really hot chick who may just be more than just a friend after all.. 

And with that you´ve been caught up, I bid you adieu... 

I know what you´re thinking, you´re thinking "Wait Pablo, we want the rich history and vibrant story telling  in the time honored Pablo fashion.." I hear you, I do. So let me start at the beginning or shortly after, lets say in Tulum...

For those of you not in the "yoga know," Tulum is rapidly becoming an international yoga tourism destination. On the Yucatan Peninsula, two hours south of Cancun, Tulum is a sleepy little town with temperatures in the 90´s and humidity in mid 70´s.  My friend Paula moved here some months ago to teach Yoga and has had Cameron Diaz, Heather Graham and Kate Bosworth in her classes. Now that the Americans have discovered it prices are sure to triple. Tulum has two parts, the pueblo just off the main road, and the beach 5 kilometers west. The beach has no electricity and everything is solar or wind or generator.  It looks a little something this...

Hurricane Food

Arriving at my little shanty, I failed to notice the lack of electricty. Not that I REALLY care one way or the other, but being the gagging snore-a-saurus that I am, I´ve come to depend heavily on a CPAP machine for a good nights sleep. Whats more, my recovering, but still a bit delicate health has come to depend heavily on a good nights sleep for a good next day.

Couldnt It Be Healing WITH Electricity?

After a night in Paula´s Hammock and an extention cord later I settled in to what was really a fantastic view of the most beautiful beach in the world.

Anyone Got a Light?

All the lighting is with candles which makes for a very pretty scene but a little hard to see. Heres what it looks like from the other direction.

What do you call the really small moscas? Mosquitos...

Now I know what youre thinking, its something along the lines of, "Now Pablo, we all know youre a bit of an extreme guy, are you trying to say you went all the Mexico for Yoga?"

No, I didnt. Because Tulum is also known for Scuba Diving in Cenotes, or the caves that are formed by the rain runoff through the limestone over the centuries. It looks a little something like this...

Heres Pablita Doing Her Best Seal Imitation

Stalag-whatevers

Heres the View From Below

And From Below-er

Now, I dont know what youre thinking but Im thinking for only my 5th through 9th dive after getting certified as opposed to certifiable, thats a little extreme.

We also did a reef dive which was pretty incredible even though the visibility wasnt up to Tulum standards due the recent hurricane. Its the same reef as Cozumel.

Swim Like the Minnow You Are!

Later we met up with some new friends and divers from Spain. I will neither confirm nor deny that some partying took place

Apasiuate Sonso...

And theres more to the story in Tulum, but since Ive never been one to kiss and tell Ill save it for another blog gone day. After all Ive already wasted enough of your employers time.

Next up Pablo and Pabla in Cuba... and with that I truly do-bid-you-adieu....

Sound Mind Sick Body and Is It Really Travel Related

I'm trying to keep my posts travel related and prevent this blog from becoming "The All About Pablo Show," but couldn't we broaden the definition of "Travel" just temporarily to include a merry pain filled trip down the illness path? That wouldn't be too much of a stretch would it? At the risk of straying I'd like to take you on a small detour of sorts, one that's sure to entertain but might be a slight departure from my previous written word. In the bigger picture isn't everything really travel related? Isn't life really one big journey? Maybe Pablo's Adventure Travels should become Pablo's LIFE Adventure Travels.

Good, now that that's settled I think I'll begin where I last left off in the end of my last post where the Health-O-Meter, that once neutral Switzerland-esqe bastion of impartiality, has begun to hate. And more specifically, hate me. The Health-O-Meter is my home scale by the way.

40 Is The New 20 and 148.5 Is The New 180

The previous day I had begun vomiting and knew I was hospital bound one way or the other. On this morning as I dry-heaved in the parking lot at my doctor's office waiting for them to open, I began to ponder some ways that one knows how sick he or she really is. As I was getting dripped with 2 liters of IV fluids plus anti nausea medication it dawned on me. You know you're really sick when they put you in a darkened room at the doctors office with IVs in the arm and the staff tiptoes around you and speaks in a mouse like whisper. "You OK in here?" and "Can I get you anything, water perhaps?" Before it was just play sick, now its REAL sick.

Who Wants a Drink? Pabs Is Buying The First Liter

Exploratory Abdomen Surgery later and partial small bowel obstruction later, left with the prospect of another surgery and a sharpening mind. What, a sharpening mind you say? Its funny but as my body gets sicker, my mind gets sharper. Its like taking that mental energy I can no longer use physically and turning it into something...ummm, well mental. The more the body fails the quicker the mind gets. I took classes, learned new skills wrote a strategic marketing plan for the office, and honed in on my priorities in my life, (really most everything is bullshit that doesn't really matter in the grand gurn-scheme of things.) In a way its a little scary, kinda like how the engine of an old car runs its best just before it explodes.

Another way to look at it might be this scene from Blader Runner at 4:42 where the God of Bio-mechanics says to Roy, "The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long" and Pablo has burned oh so very bright.

Roy Was "Quite The Prize" Pablo? Jury Still Out But It Looks Like An Acquittal 

While we're on the semi-related topic of travel, the journey through my intestines met with a partial blockage which the first surgery fixed, and the second fixed the (potentially fatal) condition where the completely shredded diaphragm muscles allowed my stomach to tuck up into my chest cavity like the cowering dog it is.

Cowing Dog Stomach Cowering From View

Now that the mechanical problems are fixed and the Surgeon has put Humpty Dumpty back together again, we'll what Adventure Travels Pablo has left. As always, anonymous commenting is appreciated and best wishes to all my well wishers...

Not Exactly An Old Timey-Praise-Be-To-Besus Faith Healthing

The day we've all been waiting for came, and with it the non-stop pounding of rain. Far from the mudslides in Oaxaca we are still close to the effects of too much water. Such was the case as we set the alarms to well before sun-up at the ripe early hour of 420am. Yes, the time is significant and is probably what you think. We decided since it was coming down Gurns and Dogs we could get there an hour later and went back to sleep.

Since Marcos is a popular guy we knew we needed to get there early. Setting out at 5am ED, AM and I caught a taxi and showed up at Marcos' office at 530a. The way Marcos the Shaman works is that people line up and at 6 o'clock AM he walks across the street from his house to his office and hands out numbers on little wooden chips. Marcos isnt an actual healer, he is a gateway to the 10 saints and merely diagnoses your ailment, (I like that word,. "Gateway" it has a ring of something cool.) Since we were the first to arrive, we drew the first batch of numbers. Since I'm the second sickest I got...

I Know, I was Thinking It Too,  Shouldn't Pablo be Numero Uno?

 After drawing our lot we waded back to hotel for another hour or so of sleep. By "waded" I mean navigated the waterways that once were the back streets of Ixtepec, carefully stepping in the least deepest puddle. I tried not to flaunt my gratitude for the waterproofing of my Merrill's, but alas, it was a toughie as ED and AM sloshed along feet soaked. .

Getting up that third time at 730a was pretty rough. The body just wanted to keep sleeping, but we made it to a cab on onto Marcos'. Shortly after 8 ED went in as I waited my turn, a little nervous not knowing what to expect.

Armed with a Number In One Hand And 2 Eggs In The Other

10 minutes later it was my turn. I entered the large room of his office occupied only with 2 chairs in a medium sized room with 2 small chairs in one corner, blank walls and a little table with pictures of saints and candles. I spoke to him in Spanish and ED translated his answers to make sure I didn't miss anything.. Marcos is a big fella with a common and approachable manner. Unremarkably dressed and speaking slowly he asked me what my problem was and I told him about the AS diagnosis I was given and my symptoms. He said place your hands palm up open on your knees, close your eyes and try to think of nothing. Placing his hand on top of my head he began speaking in Aramaic. A few minutes and a few sprinkles of Holy Water he said my problem is the digestive system and something I ate about a year ago had steel and aluminum in it and that my gut can not longer absorb food. He says I'm not Gluten Intolerant and read off a list of herbs to make into a tea that will cleanse the metals from my gut. "Make a tea from these herbs and drink it three times a day and come back and see me in 20 days" he said. The gut jives with what I think (and hope) it is and what I'm feeling. Plus if it works it'll be the best 50 pesos ($4USD approx) ever spent, ever.

Immediately after leaving the room with Marcos I noticed the fatigue and pain from the fatigue are gone. Completely. I wouldnt say it was a life changing religious and spiritual experience, but there was something of substance to it. I still feel tired and know I'm sick, dry eyes and mouth etc, but I feel some relief. I know, I know I hear what your thinking, "PLACEBO EFFECT! PLACEBO EFFECT!"  You can argue placebo effect and you'll get no fight from me. Then again I don't really care, relief is relief whatever you call it. I was expecting a diagnostic, not relief. I don't know what but there's something to it. As irrefutable scientific proof positive here is a foto of ED's hands before and after his visit with Marcos the Shaman

Before Swollen

After Less Swollen

Relief however is not what we found when we arrived to the bus station to catch the next jet out of Dodge. All buses canceled due to the flooding and roads. The only bus leaving Ixtepec was to Huatulco on the Oaxaca Coast, and we would catch a flight from there to DF and on to Tijuana. So off we went on the 11pm edition

Off To Huatulco On The Red Eye

Tough ride on a packed bus with poor sleep, I was left feeling a little thrashed at 4am when we arrived in Huatulco and my normally perky end energenic "Pablo on the go" pose suffered.

Must...Be...Perky...

 ED found us a nice little hotel room to crash in until our flight left at 2p. AM and I got up about 9 and toured Huatulco. Having never been to the Oaxaca coast I knew Pablo Travels readers expected a report, and feeling better, and always eager not to disappoint, we toured the small city center.

Huatulco Zocalo

I love this little place! It reminds me of how I remember Puerto Vallarta 30 years ago. I know what your thinking, "Pablo, isn't 30 years ago before you were born?!?!" Pablo prefers to count age in dog years and speak of himself in the third person. Here's another shot of how lush and green the surroundings are.

Green Stuff Is Cool, Like Pablo.

We did some shopping and were pleasantly surprised that the sales people hadn't received training in "the Pushy Tijuana Method.".

Zoolander Pablo Busts His Best Oaxaca Look

Getting back the states was still far from certain but getting more likely as we pulled up to the airport

When Was The Last Time You Saw A Thatched Roof Airport?

and from inside the terminal

Blast Protective Factor Questionable

 After checking in we toured the local culinary delicacies.

Yummy Insect Grasshopper Gluten Free Goodness or "Grasshopper", Eat Grasshopper!

Always eager to please his readers Pablo does his best not to disappoint with exotic food tasting porn.



Of course it has occurred to me that that if I have steel and aluminum in my gut I should probably refrain from questionable eating experiences like guinea pig, Mescal worms, and grasshoppers. Hmmmm, ponderings for another blog entry perhaps.

As if thatched roof airports aren't primitive enough, tarmac plane loading should do it for you.

Jetways Are Soooo Overrated

After a short flight to Mexico City, followed by a monster layover in the DF airport FINALLY we made Tijuana and I'm pleased to present you with a "Pablo made it" shot.

"Home" In Tijuana

Flash forward past the shortest 38 minute border crossing followed by the longest 50 mile drive home I spread out the fruits of my visit that would the healing wealth of the trip at about 2am.

Yes, HSW This Will Make Me "Magically Delicious"

Throwing it all in a pot, (eye of newt excluded) I boiled my tea

Boil And Bubble Cauldron Tea Trouble

And with that I will leave you with my tale of not an Old Timey Faith Healing but hopefully a healing tale none the less as I consider renaming Pablo's Travels, "Pablo's Healing Adventures Travel Old Timey Travel Blog."

Meanwhile back at the ranch the Health-o-Meter doesn't love me at 19 pounds lost and counting

The Health-o-Meter Doesn't Love Or Hate, It's Just Sayin'

I'll let you know....