Pablo's Adventure Travels

Not Exactly An Old Timey-Praise-Be-To-Besus Faith Healthing

2010-10-02T08:28:00.002-07:00

The day we've all been waiting for came, and with it the non-stop pounding of rain. Far from the mudslides in Oaxaca we are still close to the effects of too much water. Such was the case as we set the alarms to well before sun-up at the ripe early hour of 420am. Yes, the time is significant and is probably what you think. We decided since it was coming down Gurns and Dogs we could get there an hour later and went back to sleep.

Since Marcos is a popular guy we knew we needed to get there early. Setting out at 5am ED, AM and I caught a taxi and showed up at Marcos' office at 530a. The way Marcos the Shaman works is that people line up and at 6 o'clock AM he walks across the street from his house to his office and hands out numbers on little wooden chips. Marcos isnt an actual healer, he is a gateway to the 10 saints and merely diagnoses your ailment, (I like that word,. "Gateway" it has a ring of something cool.) Since we were the first to arrive, we drew the first batch of numbers. Since I'm the second sickest I got...

I Know, I was Thinking It Too, Shouldn't Pablo be Numero Uno?

After drawing our lot we waded back to hotel for another hour or so of sleep. By "waded" I mean navigated the waterways that once were the back streets of Ixtepec, carefully stepping in the least deepest puddle. I tried not to flaunt my gratitude for the waterproofing of my Merrill's, but alas, it was a toughie as ED and AM sloshed along feet soaked. .

Getting up that third time at 730a was pretty rough. The body just wanted to keep sleeping, but we made it to a cab on onto Marcos'. Shortly after 8 ED went in as I waited my turn, a little nervous not knowing what to expect.

Armed with a Number In One Hand And 2 Eggs In The Other

10 minutes later it was my turn. I entered the large room of his office occupied only with 2 chairs in a medium sized room with 2 small chairs in one corner, blank walls and a little table with pictures of saints and candles. I spoke to him in Spanish and ED translated his answers to make sure I didn't miss anything.. Marcos is a big fella with a common and approachable manner. Unremarkably dressed and speaking slowly he asked me what my problem was and I told him about the AS diagnosis I was given and my symptoms. He said place your hands palm up open on your knees, close your eyes and try to think of nothing. Placing his hand on top of my head he began speaking in Aramaic. A few minutes and a few sprinkles of Holy Water he said my problem is the digestive system and something I ate about a year ago had steel and aluminum in it and that my gut can not longer absorb food. He says I'm not Gluten Intolerant and read off a list of herbs to make into a tea that will cleanse the metals from my gut. "Make a tea from these herbs and drink it three times a day and come back and see me in 20 days" he said. The gut jives with what I think (and hope) it is and what I'm feeling. Plus if it works it'll be the best 50 pesos ($4USD approx) ever spent, ever.

Immediately after leaving the room with Marcos I noticed the fatigue and pain from the fatigue are gone. Completely. I wouldnt say it was a life changing religious and spiritual experience, but there was something of substance to it. I still feel tired and know I'm sick, dry eyes and mouth etc, but I feel some relief. I know, I know I hear what your thinking, "PLACEBO EFFECT! PLACEBO EFFECT!" You can argue placebo effect and you'll get no fight from me. Then again I don't really care, relief is relief whatever you call it. I was expecting a diagnostic, not relief. I don't know what but there's something to it. As irrefutable scientific proof positive here is a foto of ED's hands before and after his visit with Marcos the Shaman

Before Swollen

After Less Swollen

Relief however is not what we found when we arrived to the bus station to catch the next jet out of Dodge. All buses canceled due to the flooding and roads. The only bus leaving Ixtepec was to Huatulco on the Oaxaca Coast, and we would catch a flight from there to DF and on to Tijuana. So off we went on the 11pm edition

Off To Huatulco On The Red Eye

Tough ride on a packed bus with poor sleep, I was left feeling a little thrashed at 4am when we arrived in Huatulco and my normally perky end energenic "Pablo on the go" pose suffered.

Must...Be...Perky...

ED found us a nice little hotel room to crash in until our flight left at 2p. AM and I got up about 9 and toured Huatulco. Having never been to the Oaxaca coast I knew Pablo Travels readers expected a report, and feeling better, and always eager not to disappoint, we toured the small city center.

Huatulco Zocalo

I love this little place! It reminds me of how I remember Puerto Vallarta 30 years ago. I know what your thinking, "Pablo, isn't 30 years ago before you were born?!?!" Pablo prefers to count age in dog years and speak of himself in the third person. Here's another shot of how lush and green the surroundings are.

Green Stuff Is Cool, Like Pablo.

We did some shopping and were pleasantly surprised that the sales people hadn't received training in "the Pushy Tijuana Method.".

Zoolander Pablo Busts His Best Oaxaca Look

Getting back the states was still far from certain but getting more likely as we pulled up to the airport

When Was The Last Time You Saw A Thatched Roof Airport?

and from inside the terminal

Blast Protective Factor Questionable

After checking in we toured the local culinary delicacies.

Yummy Insect Grasshopper Gluten Free Goodness or "Grasshopper", Eat Grasshopper!

Always eager to please his readers Pablo does his best not to disappoint with exotic food tasting porn.

Of course it has occurred to me that that if I have steel and aluminum in my gut I should probably refrain from questionable eating experiences like guinea pig, Mescal worms, and grasshoppers. Hmmmm, ponderings for another blog entry perhaps.

As if thatched roof airports aren't primitive enough, tarmac plane loading should do it for you.

Jetways Are Soooo Overrated

After a short flight to Mexico City, followed by a monster layover in the DF airport FINALLY we made Tijuana and I'm pleased to present you with a "Pablo made it" shot.

"Home" In Tijuana

Flash forward past the shortest 38 minute border crossing followed by the longest 50 mile drive home I spread out the fruits of my visit that would the healing wealth of the trip at about 2am.

Yes, HSW This Will Make Me "Magically Delicious"

Throwing it all in a pot, (eye of newt excluded) I boiled my tea

Boil And Bubble Cauldron Tea Trouble

And with that I will leave you with my tale of not an Old Timey Faith Healing but hopefully a healing tale none the less as I consider renaming Pablo's Travels, "Pablo's Healing Adventures Travel Old Timey Travel Blog."

Meanwhile back at the ranch the Health-o-Meter doesn't love me at 19 pounds lost and counting

The Health-o-Meter Doesn't Love Or Hate, It's Just Sayin'

I'll let you know....

This Just In Mudslide Buries Hundreds and Pablo Safe But Stranded

2010-09-28T15:32:00.001-07:00

It has nothing here but rain, rain and then rain some more. Inevitably this happens...

My headline reads "Pablo Stranded" which isn't exactly accurate, much like the news these days.

We have had to reroute our return trip home though. The plan was to bus it to Oaxaca and fly from there on the red eye. The new plan is to take the red eye "bus" to Mexico City and fly from there. Which means a brutal night of traveling, the brutality of which I'm not altogether unfamiliar with. Having done it once for the "adventure" I'm not anxious to repeat the experience. Insert song entitled "Ambien love ballad" here.

Going WAY off track from the tragic current events of the region I have a few left over notes to comment on before the "season finale" of PabloTravels. Think of it like the out takes during the credits of a Jackie Chan movie.

Lets play a little game I like to call "DID YOU KNOW"

Did you know:

1.) Smart wool socks can very accurately recreate the smell of wet sheep when washed and force dried in your hotel room with a hair dryer?
2.) Mexico s idea of a dairy free steak is to spoon the pooling butter off your prime rib prior to serving?
3.) Toilet seats are the exception not the rule in this part of Mexico?
4.) A sure way to create envy (or maybe disgust) amongst your friends in a downpour is to taunt them with quick drying Ex-Officio clothing and Merrill waterproof hiking shoes? A sure sign this is happening is when every other topic starts with the words "I gotta get a pair of those"
4.) The Shaman drives a brand new Audi Q7
5.) For about $12 you can see a movie VIP in D.F. and have overpriced watered down drinks delivered to reclining chair?

AM Doing His Best Mr Bill Pimp Daddy Impression

6.) That while Pablo is sick, he still has an appreciating eye for the local talent?

Please excuse the "untalented" left of center, maybe the right too

7.) Bohemia s latest product offering, is a Mexican Hefeweizen?

Pablo's Rating: "Unremarkable" Although Sampling Was Extremely Limited

Finally, what PablosTravels blog post would be complete without commentary on his Spanish ability? None I say, none. Sadly, I'm disappointed to report that my Spanish is still inadequate at best and woefully lacking at worst. I alternate between "Fight harder" to learn to speak and comprehend with fluidity and ease and "Fuck it, this is as good as its going to get." The Spanish is coming at me so fast that it stuns me not unlike automatic gunfire.

And with that I will sign off and absorb the days events in a valiant effort to entertain you tomorrow, because damn it, you re worth it!

Ixtepec and Whats Next (Hey That Rythmes!)

2010-09-28T10:29:00.002-07:00

Most of yesterday was thoughtlessly consumed by an extreme "bus experience," which is code for boring old bus ride. However, it is the true measure of a master blogger to color the monochrome or spice up the soup so i ll do my best not to waste your employers time. Except you PM in which case this "time" is already mine.

Setting out on an advertised 6 hour, (in actuality 7 hour) bus ride, I present you with the obligatory "Pablo on the move" photo...

Pablo on the Move, Water Bottle in Hand

Moving to the bus station in Oaxaca I couldn't seem to find the right entrance for my bus and I paused to ponder pointlessly, was I expecting a personalized entrance? Oh right, this must be it...

This Must Be The VIP Entrance...

On the bus I got the last seat with a striking panoramic view of the bathroom

Huele a Urina, wey.

From my vantage point I was able to see if the girls took their purses with them to the bathroom or not, yippee. This was not the luxury bus of yesterday and I'm not sure if the movie screen in the seat back could have withstood the jarring anyway...

Camera Image Stabilization diminishes the effect somewhat but it was a bumpy Gurn.
This was sure to be an interesting ride but there were some great sights to be seen, such as this and Maguey Agave plants that make Mescal dotting the landscape

Yummy Future Mescal Gluten Free Goodness

On a 7 hour bus ride one has time-o-plenty to reflect and I was feeling so bad that my reflections were mostly on my future treatment options and where morphine and hospice fit into the mix.

ED has become the yardstick by which I measure my misery as he is truly miserable. His hands became so swollen a couple years ago that he could no longer operate, which must truly be suffering for a doctor. Imagine going to school and studying all those years and then this happens at age 35

Eds Hands

ED also floated the possibility that my ailments are the result of some voodoo like curse placed upon me by a bitter ex-girlfriend which prompted more reflection on my part. Ive always thought of myself as a pretty decent guy where women are concerned, and while Ive had some less than amicable break-ups I cant really think of anyone who would say Ive wronged them or acted out of malice. But who knows sometimes affairs of the heart can really cloud ones judgment or memories. There's a few ex girlfriends reading this now, what say you oh anonymous commenter?

As I reflected (or genuflect-ed praying for a safe arrival) the wheels on the bus of life kept turning, climbing into the sky. Come, ride with me, if you dare...

I must have uploaded the non-twisty turny video, but trust in me, it was a windy one.
We arrived safely at in Ixtepec but the journey didn't go so well for these folks

No One Hurt, The Stems On This Ford Excepted

Arriving in Ixtepec, safe and sound, our Hotel was sold out and were forced to accept second rate accommodations. Which was fine by me as second rate is a little more my speed. The rooms were $10 for the night but being the elitist discerning traveler that I am I opted for the air-conditioned suite for $20.

A Real Salt-of-the-Earth Sandals in the Shower Kind of Place

I know what youre thinking, "Paul, $20 WHAT A BARG OF GURN LIKE PROPORTIONS!" Too bad a toilet seat and hot water werent included. If I had bought it at Costco I would take it back. Plus, that aire acondicionado lets everyone know its there and that its working REALLY hard for your comfort and enjoyment.

and with that we ate and retired for the night. This morning we saw the Shaman and Ill write about it tomorrow. This would be the blogosphere-ical equivalent of the television series season finale cliffhanger where you cant wait to find out who slept with who and whether the protagonist is actually dead or not.

Time Flies but Airplanes Crash

2010-09-27T08:18:00.001-07:00

Revising our plans (yet again) to rent a car and drive to Oaxaca, we settled on a bus for economic reasons. We briefly considered a private jet, but a cost of $900 each way the consideration was indeed "brief." Although $900 didn't seem that expensive to cheap traveler inside me. I'm sure my insistence on finding a bus with a first class section could have been considered nagging, but after South America I consider myself learned in the art of Latin American Bus Travel. So "primera clase" is how we ll be journeying. While this might sound elitist, I assure you the few extra dollars spent make a big difference. Having a nice wide seat that fully reclines for a 12 hour excursion becomes priceless at about the 6 hour mark. Sadly the first leg of this trip, Mexico City to Oaxaca is only 6 hours.

Backing up a bit, here's a shot of AM and I at the Templo Mayor Ruins

This is a working trip for AM and ED and they have a lot meetings, and some sort of company here in Mexico that I really don't understand but they are the guys you call when you need connections or contacts so here's a pictorial representation of what the conversation looks like at meal time

A little "BlackBerry" for dessert sir?

So off to Oaxaca I go...

Between movies I had time to reflect on whether Ed is my inspiration to keep fighting or my signal to call it a day. I'm still undecided and see-saw from fight to flight regularly, but I lean mostly towards fight. Auto Immune has to be one the worst disorders to have, although agreed, the disease you HAVE is always "the worst." Its like undergoing chemo for life. Too fatigued to do anything but the bare essentials, cant eat or little appetite. Difference is one way or the other you're done with chemo. Auto Immune is the gift that is little understood and keeps on giving.

I pondered fight or flight and other important questions between poorly dubbed movies of "The Spy Next Door" and "My Best Friends Girl" beamed directly to the seatback in front of me.

Not to complain, but I feel the need to complain. My stomach/Gi tract discomfort has returned and eating is no longer a stress less endeavor. I imagine it corresponds with my prescribed reduction of prednisone. I'm tempted to up the dose at least for the duration of the trip as traveling with a doctor has advantages like easy access to medication. Meanwhile skinny Paul tightens his belt and considers sewing his shirt sleeves to make his biceps look bigger.

On that note I would like to present for your viewing pleasure some food porn, which is like bike porn when you cant ride

Ceviche Peruano went down easily

Tlayudas Oaxaceñas (or something like that) not so easy...

and to wash it all down a little gusano swimming in Mescal

"Its sooo nice in here, Ill bet the other worms are jealous of me now!"

and down the gullet...

Gluten Free Worm Goodness or Worm Thinks Pablo Needs a Shave

Ed forgot to tell me that for maximum effect the worm must be chewed. Drats! Next time.

Our hotel in Oaxaca is a converted Hacienda and is quite luxurious

Although the swimming pool could get a little crowded with about 2 people...

In a couple hours we board the bus again for the little village that the Shaman works out of. It should be quite a ride and ED describes it as a winding mountain ascent like driving up the road up to Big Bear only for 5 hours. Luckily for me only airplanes crash, buses not so much...

The Waiting is Not The Hardest Part and Only In Mexico

2010-09-25T16:40:00.002-07:00

Waiting for my window of Shaman opportunity, I'm growing a little restless. Normally when I travel I try to kamikaze as much as I can get in, sights, museums, destinations and adventures. This trip has a different purpose, one I'm still trying to adjust to. Balancing the patience necessary while waiting to get to Oaxaca with my desire to see and do all is becoming a challenge. Factor in what my capabilities are physically, sift it all through my medication induced brain fog and what do you get? I don't know yet but Ill let you know when I figure it out.

After the ritual WNB, yesterday morning my hosts decided to take me to the Zocalo, probably to shut me up more than anything else, but it was a sight. All juiced up for the bicentennial, and no manifestaciones (protests) made it a good day to sight see.

200 Years since "The Grito"

Ive seen the Zocalo before but it has been some years and certainly the decoration added a little zip. Ed served as my guide and gave the tour a little historical flavor that added to the experience.

Often the Indians demonstrate there, I'm not sure why, probably against something trivial like discrimination or equal rights, but today there were content to entertain us.

I was hoping for hot chicks and a pole, but alas it was still very entertaining to watch.

Close to the Zocalo is the ruins of the Templo Mayor, and while I'm sure Ive seen it before I just cant place it as ruins and pyramides tend to blend like cathedrals in Europe. See two or three and you've seen them all. The Templo Mayor has had some recent excavation since 2006 and it was facinating to see the layers upon layers built throughout each Aztecs rulers reign.

and the top of the temple

They're not dead, they're just thinking...

Only in Mexico.

I'm sure everyone has an "only in (insert crazy location here)" Here one of mine. I will set the stage by saying that while I consider myself 420friendly, I'm not very 420active. Its never really been my thing. Anywhoo the other day we were 420friendly-ing in a wardrobe closet when a hippie-ed out business guy dressed in traditional Indian attire pulled this out of his man purse...

To recap, "only in Mexico" does a hippie-ied out business guy in traditional Indian garb hand you a hit of Ecstasy in a wardrobe closet while smoking a joint. Or maybe that happens all the time and Ive just led a sheltered life.

I'm thinking to myself that given the current state of my health that its really not the time to be experimenting with recreational drugs, so I asked ED, "Hey is this safe for me to take even though I'm sick?" He replied, "You're already dying, you think THAT is going to kill you?" Huh, hard to argue with that logic.

Sadly or fortunately, depending on your perspective, we ll never know as it disintegrated in my pocket before I could fully assess the potential health consequences.
We've decided to rent a car tomorrow and drive to Oaxaca seeing some of the sights along the way. As its a 12 hour car ride Pablo's Travels will probably go dark for a couple days.

and with that I will leave you with an unholy symbol of corporate global greed and domination. Enjoy.

Its All in Your Head!

2010-09-24T10:29:00.001-07:00

I was disappointed greatly when our pilgrimage to Oaxaca was delayed due to the rain and poor road conditions. Looks like my life changing consult with the oracle will have to wait until Tuesday. Ed tells me that the Shaman only sees people with our type conditions on Fridays and Tuesdays at 5 am. So we may fly to Oaxaca Monday just to be sure we get there on time.

I'm feeling better day by day, which is both surprising and good. I{m able to get down a full meal with little discomfort and my appetite has come back somewhat. Maybe the antibiotics are starting to clear the gremlins from my gut, maybe its just that I'm in Mexico on an Adventure. Maybe what Ed says about "it all being in my head" has some truth to it. What he means by that is, "Yes, you have AS and you're gluten intolerant and you're sick, but if you THINK you're sick, you're going to BE sick." And I must not forget, HE would know. Its hard to say how much better I'm feeling, and Ive been trying to quantify it. Its tough to rate on the Scale of Health, because when you start at deaths door, getting to maimed and wheelchair bound can feel like a miracle.

Speaking of possible miracles, Ive been pondering my questions for the Shaman, trying to keep it simple and pertinent. Its not that easy for a guy who has never really had any deeply held spiritual beliefs. I cant help´wondering, is my declining health tied in some way to a crisis of faith? Should I be practicing some religion or praying to some unearthly deity? Is the answer not in one strictly practiced religion or belief but rather in a mixture of the best parts of many with a combination of compassion, faith and love for all things?

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, I don't know about all that.

I do know I'm getting restless hanging out in the Opium Den...

A Typical Morning In The Opium Den (Identities Protected)

Its been sometime since Ive crashed on a couch for 3 days in a room with 4 people. (Insert extreme expression of gratitude to the makers of Ambien HERE) Sharing that small space means you go to sleep when they sleep, you get up when they get up, you eat when they eat, etc. Its a bit of a switch for a guy that lives alone in a spacious house with 2 cats. Not to mention their RELENTLESS jokes about what I can and cant eat are getting a little old. "Paul, does that cheese have glutamen in it?" "Don't drink that wine it has GLUTAMEN!" Glutamen is the Spanish for Gluten, why I guess they needed an extra syllable just to complicate things.

Ive been doing well on the diet and can say with a high degree of certainty that my gluten intake has been pretty close to zero. Although when you eat out you never really know about cross contamination. Ive brought some of my own stuff, mostly agave fruit and nut bars from the health food store en caso de emergencia. Eating is a little less stressful taking these gut specific antibiotics as catching a bacteria is unlikely. At a cost of $300 for an 8 day supply, they'd better be good.

So today's post is short and sweet and to the point. As for what my plans are for the weekend, who knows, I'm making it up in my head as I go along. And its all about whats in my head anyway, remember?

The Concrete Jungle and the Opium Den

2010-09-22T17:22:00.002-07:00

Catching the red eye from Tijuana I wasn't sure how I would fare with the weakness and lack sleep and just the all out toll it takes flying late night.

Tijuana Airport at 1am

I was unsure how if Id be able to stand in long lines at the airport in Mexico City, but I did fairly well. Lines were short and wait times minimal which is good as I was having premonitions of dropping from exhaustion while waiting for customs. Flying or traveling all night always upsets the my body's balance; food and rest cycles are off and bodily functions are disrupted. Well... you get the picture.

At the airport, I could still feel the familiar burn of what feels like a bee sting of the lovenox stick, (I mean really, why cant they use a smaller needle and mix it with a little lidocaine.) Our flight was only 3 1/2 hours which pales in comparison to the 16 hour monster from South America last year that almost claimed my leg to a blood clot. I'm ultra conservative these days as a blood clot now and my health goes from poor to horrible about as fast as a (insert your favorite super car here) twin turbo goes from 0-60. Still I did my calf pumping exercises every hour and got up and moved about regularly. The days of washing down a xanex with some vino tinto and slipping off into a gentle slumber are dead to me now.

In my last post I mentioned a friend of friend (actually a cousin of a friend) was traveling down here to see a shaman and pitched me on joining him for the trip. My friends, who I'm traveling with now have asked that I not show their picture on line or publish their names as they are trying like to keep a low profile to discourage kidnapping. (Revised and details omitted) . So for purposes of protecting my sources, (and no, I'm not willing to go to prison indefinitely in the name of journalistic integrity,) Ill call them by their code names, Amigo Mio and Estimado Doctor or simply AM and ED. The two friends I'm traveling with pictured below

Proof that ANYONE can look better with a little "digital retouching"

While Ive touched on my poor health, ED is redefining the severity of what I ever imagined the word 'sick' could mean. His knees, hands, elbows are all swollen and his face has that puffed out prednisone look. They don't really know exactly what he has (besides Lupus) but in the last three years he has seen 33 different doctors, done 28 alternative therapy treatments, seen 3 other shamans, a black witch AND a white witch (whatever that is) and says the shaman we are going to see is the only one who has helped him. Currently they are giving him Chemotherapy to shut down the immune system and ED is running on what AM terms, " 8 months of overtime." Which means 8 months ago he was given 4 months to live. He is too weak now to lift his own suitcase onto the conveyor belt at the airport. On the Microsoft Windows scale of sick, or MWSOS, If I'm "Windows ME" sick then he is "Windows 7 Ultimate Professional Edition with Home Multimedia Pack and Encyclopedia" sick. We have a few of the same symptoms which scares me a little, the dry eyes and mouth, pain and fatigue. The fatigue is a hard one for other people to get and for me to explain, but Ill give it a try. You know when you've had a long exhausting day and the muscles in your legs, back and whole body ache and are tired? The discomfort we don't generally call "pain" and is non specific, meaning it not just one single thing that hurts locally, but your whole body. Now imagine that all-over fatigue actually hurt like the pain of a headache and the worst ever full body hangover you've ever had at the same time, all 24/7. If you can get a grip around that then you{re close. Lack of sleep heightens those symptoms and the weakness can become debilitating.

Sick or not, his story is none the less fascinating as hell and beyond blog worthy. ED is one of the leading diabetes experts in the western hemisphere and has had 2 articles published in the New England Journal of Medicine. while that's all well and good, the cool part is that he doesn't charge to treat patients, instead making money from speaking fees usually paid by drug companies, studies and teaching. Severe diabetes often involves amputations and ED boasts that in his practice he has reduced amputations from 6 in 10, to 2 in 10. While I'm not in his shoes and wont be, (our diseases are different, I hope) I cant figure what keeps him going. He says its his daughter and his dedication to medicine. I'd probably have checked out long ago and gone the way of the Gurn, but I guess you never really now until you have to make that choice. I cant decide if ED is an inspiration for me in my fight against this largely misunderstood disease, or an example of knowing when to throw in the towel. One effect it is having on me is how I view and define things as 'important' in my life. I'm sure Ill be overhauling that definition for years to come.

He wants to see my medical records (which happens to be a request I can easily oblige as I keep EVERY test, xray and result on a thumb drive on my key chain) and says he can cure me with a new stem cell treatment he used on his dads Ankylosing Spodylitis or Espondilitis Anquilosante in Spanish. He says I will be the first patient he charges and its going to cost $100. Ummm well, OK. He doesn't think my problem is AS and that AS is a symptom of something else and we will see after we visit the shaman he says. Actually he says "Its all in your head."

Arriving in Mexico City ED hired a car and driver for $2000 pesos a day so we wouldn't have to hassle with taxis. After braving the Brutal Mexico City traffic at 730am doing extreme Mexican U turns. We arrived at a breakfast with a friend of AMs, Ill call him ELE (FB, you ll remember ELE, he was the guy that sewed the sleeves on his tee shirts smaller to make his biceps look bigger when we were in La Paz.) We had breakfast and I managed to force down a fruit plate although I knew my stomach would make me pay for it later.

"What your immune system is haywire? Why, you can hardly tell!"

ELEs a cool guy that grew up in Coronado, an entrepreneur, and his apartmento is in the Polanco section of Mexico where as he puts it, "no one is scared to come here and its close to everything."

Polanco Section, lots of trees, calm, safe, nice, ahhhh

The weather has generally been nice, alternating from high clouds to sun when all of sudden this happened...

Later ELE took us out for dinner at a pretty upscale restaurant called "Trece," or 13.

Charging the camera always means the best fotos escape immobilization

So named for a striking coincidence between the owner and the number 13. Not only was he born on the 13th, at the thirteenth hour, in the 13th building on the 13th floor, his fiancee is 13 years old (kidding she WAS born on the thirteenth though) and a string of so many other thirteens I forget. ELE knows the owners and it was one of those 4 hour meals where one delicious course come after another with good food, good drink, good conversation and good freinds. Topped by one two glasses of Johnie Walker Blue Label.
Now, I expected this trip to slide from one end of the fourtwenty friendly scale to the next, so far its been pegged to the maximum reading which I term as "opium den." Which is fine, I'm not exactly a ball of fearless ball of gringo fire rearin' to go and tear up the city, but I do want to explore and unleash my own special brand of travel madness upon an innocent unsuspecting Mexico. So kicking back for 3 1/2 hours in an Internet cafe writing this blog is cool by me.

Thursday we are off to Oaxaca, either by bus or plane, depending on how ED feels to see the Shaman. The basic idea of how it works is you line up and take a number, seeing the Shaman one-by one. When you get your audience you ask him your health/life related question. I'm envisioning this to Neo meeting the Oracle in Matrix .

So for the next couple days Ill be kicking around what the great all mighty life changing question I should ask might be. Should I keep it strictly medical or venture off into the vast largely unexplored area of spirituality? Should I try to tie both together like a good BSNYC segue? Is the cause of my physical suffering a by product of not placing enough straws in my own nest? Clearly this question could hold the key to the garden gate blocks my life's path. Here's a few ideas Ive been kicking around:

1.) What are my lucky lotto numbers and can I get a quick pick while I'm here too?
2.) Will a sheep's wool coat shrink, constrict and kill him if he goes in a hot spring?
3.) How can I get the grey out of my hair and still have it look natural?
4.) Can I have 3 wishes, the last one being to have three MORE wishes?
5.) Are breast augmentations "real" or "fake?" Ive always been on the side of "if they exist they're real."

Clearly I have some soul searching to do before I distill these important queries down to the one that might set my spirit on a path of truth enlightenment and peace.

Meanwhile back in Distrito Federal, AM and ED are off to meetings all day and ELE and I are out sampling fine dining. Lunch was at a very nice restaurant called "Primos."

Apparently they've just opened up 3 new locations called "Tios" "Sobrinos" and Mi Tias." I had the Queso Manchego and Jamon Serrano with a baby green salad and agreed, its not exactly a Thanksgiving feast but I did manage to finish it handily with little discomfort. Maybe that progress or just a "less than bad day."

A hot chick recently told me that Mexico City reminded her of a "concrete jungle," sort of cold, artificial and impersonable. I have to agree. But there is something exciting about cities that are alive with culture, history and arquitectura.

After I period of time though, living in a concrete jungle must be like working for a large organization in a cubicle farm. Complex, impersonable and rigid, while in contrast the opium den offers the timeless simplicity of what-you-see-is-what-you-get.

As always I leave you with a disclaimer. These entries are written on the fly so you will excuse the punctuation, grammar, and missed apostrophes as Latin keyboards share few keystrokes to those of ours. Spellcheck only corrects Spanish words here, so use your imagination, it'll be more fun that way.

It won't kill you, but you might wish you were dead...

2010-09-20T17:55:00.002-07:00

No, the above byline does not refer to marriage, but something far more troubling, but not without some similarities. I am referring of course to my latest ailment, Ankylosing Spondylitis.

While both are lifelong, chronic and incurable, neither are life threatening even though at times they both might make you feel as though you wish you were dead.

My experience with marriage is somewhat limited, all right you got me, non-existent in fact. I can however speak with some authority about my experience with Ankylosing Spondylitis (AS). In the last year I've had test after test that showed nothing abnormal and I was basically told that there was nothing wrong with me, or in the words of my GP, "If there's something wrong with with you, I don't know what it is." I'm a little hard on the GP and in his defense, the symptoms I was relaying to him weren't exactly indicative of AS and there's virtually no blood tests that says definitively that you have it. Athletes are trained to ignore pain, so I thought nothing unusual of my back pain, it was the fatigue that was my major complaint. Kinda non-specific I know. Also that statement assumes that I am, or was, in fact an athlete which may be a subject open to debate or at least another blog post.

Someone suggested I see this Russian doctor who kinda plays on both sides of the fence between modern and alternative medicine. Turns out the guy is a rheumatologist and spotted my AS immediately. If you have a mystery illness, auto immune disorder or food intolerance, I highly recommend him.

While modern medicine hasn't exactly failed me yet, I'm not exactly enjoying life. Things are a little worse than I've let on. I feel like I'm weeks away from being too sick and so weak that I wont be able to make it to my cushy self-employed desk job, even part time. The immune system is a complicated and not well understood system in medicine and treatment is more about managing the worst symptoms. The first couple rounds of medication have either had limited effect or I haven't been able to tolerate them, (For a definition of tolerance see "marriage.") There aren't many pharmacological treatments for AS so there are precious few steps on the drug ladder between easy- readily available, inexpensive with few side effects and and the heavy $15-25k a year injectable hard core biologic class of medications. The latter of which I'd prefer to avoid but am prepared for.

My Rheumy found that I'm gluten intolerant (soy and milk too) and thinks I will "recover well" with a gluten free diet. While waiting for that to kick in I've been pioneering and fine-tuning a revolutionary new diet. Its called the Nausea Induced Food Averse Caloric Deprivation diet, or NIFAC diet, and I don't recommend it, but its cheap (you actually save money while on it) and effective. I've lost 15 pounds in 2 months! By virtue of largely not being able to eat, I've unwittingly been on my new found diet for a month now and boy is it ever paying dividends! Side note: Be sure to drink plenty of fluids or you'll end up like me getting IV fluids with electrolytes for dehydration. While some of the weight feels like it can be attributed to (hard earned) muscle, bone and sinew, the first ten pounds were fun. I mean really, who doesn't have ten pounds they'd like to lose? (Besides Javi) On the upside, having massive upper body muscle development is no longer an issue and fitting my massive biceps into a keg is no longer a problem. After 10 it gets a little scary though...

Two months ago the "Health-O-Meter" read a robust "180"

But Paul, We Have Questions...

I'd like to take your questions, really I would, but by the time you read this I'll be waayyyy out of cell range and not really available and not really caring to answer emails. So I've taken the liberty of anticipating some of your more pointed queries as relayed to me by my trusty inner dialogue.

"Paul, where's this headed and why are you writing about it?"
Thanks for asking as I sometimes can get side tracked and a bit "wordy" when I write. Then again I can sometimes be wordy when I talk too. Lets just say that sometimes I'm wordy in general and leave it at that.

Without telling anyone I'm leaving today with my posse and headed to deep Mexico.

"My Posse" That's just how I roll, yo.

I'm unclear as to what Mexico's immigration policy will be for my "posse." One thing I am clear about is that it will be an adventure!

Thanks to PM for watching the shop, Igor the Gurn Master
and the substitute Gurnsitter

"So Paul, where and why are you headed to Mexico?" Great question, thanks for that. I am traveling to Oaxaca, to be specific, to visit a Shaman. I am traveling all-out ex-officio, backpack laden, on-a-whim, not a care in the world, Pablo style. The only luxury I'll be bringing is my Vicodin Addled Reality, or VAR for short, and my Prednisone Infused Tissues, or PIT. Technically I'll also be bringing Nuclear Gut Frying Antibiotics, that great Wonder of Slumber, Ambien, Fire Eye Exstiguisher Restaysis, and of course my special friend, Prilosec. So for those of you keeping track at home its PIT, VAR, NGFA, WOSA SPF FEER or in the aggregate MIF, Medication Induced Fog. Not to be confused with MILF, which is another thing entirely. FYI I tried really hard to make that acronym spell "VALV.PITI" that way I could deny it was mine. Oops getting wordy again. So MIF and I are going to take Mexico by storm, dawg, and we're going to kick some spondylit-ASS! Actually I'm really just in it for the adventure and if anything comes of it well then woohoo.

"So Paul, how did this come about? Did you just Google 'Shaman' one day and say 'Oh that looks promising.'" Agreed, this is a drastic step for one whose beliefs are so deeply rooted in the scientific method. Its not exactly... Google... Book a flight...Go, but since you asked its an interesting story. A friend of a friend, Gustavo, who's a medical doctor, has been struggling for years with Lupus (like AS, also an autoimmune disorder) and has seen all the doctors, had all the tests and taken all the drugs with little success. It was his sales pitch that convinced me to accompany him to Oaxaca. It went a little something like this:

"Look Pablo, I have been to one doctor after another, taken all the drugs, seen all the spiritual healers and the ONLY thing that has worked is this guy in Oaxaca, and I'm a Doctor! He doesn't charge, because if he does it doesn't work. You can pay him $1, $100 or nothing it's up to you. I have been where you're at. I've been in your place. I've been in your shoes, your socks, I've been in your pants."

OK, well, the last part of that statement loses a little something in translation, (besides being factually inaccurate,) but you get the idea.

"So Paul, aren't you scared to travel to Mexico now with all the drug violence?"

No.

"Ahhh, Paul, we all know you to be a leveled headed rational guy, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!?!?"

Yes, Yes I am.

So I was faced with a choice. Either wear out the couch cushions watching football, (there really are so many more games on each week now and in HD,) continuing to waste away waiting for the miracle of modern medicine to heal me or take advantage of the short lived prednisone lift and go get in a little adventure. After all I haven't had a REAL vacation this year. The 31 ski days I took don't count, neither does that 7 day cruise to Mexico as it was a "company event, they're like sick days for the corporati or the mill rat so I don't count them. Besides I'd hate to think this was my last chance for adventure and didn't take it.

"Paul, isn't a Shaman like some sort of Witch Doctor and what makes you think he has the Voodoo that will do you?"

What are you a cop?

Its true, the medically probative and diagnostic value of a Shaman may be the subject of scientific debate, it will, at the very least, make spectacular blog fodder and outrageous adventure! And you know how much I like adventure. Adventure for me is food for the soul and food is sustenance, the sustenance of adventure. Adventure is nourishing and nourishment is what feeds my adventurous life. Wait a minute, I lost myself there, what exactly was adventure again?

So as my prednisone levels rise, so does my thirst for adventure, (or is that thirst for water to fight the dry mouth of the prednisone?) and there's sure to be plenty of that as I'll be journeying into the land of no spell check, technology challenged smoke filled Internet cafes, poorly designed ergonomic keyboards with funky symbols and slow connection speeds. As if those could be the least of my issues. So stay tuned for more poorly punctuated enthralling blog post-a-poloza funtastic good reading. So I'll write again in a couple days for those of you keeping track. Feel free to comment indiscriminately and with anonymity, if desired. Even if the trip could kill me, I'm sure my adventure craving spirit animal would bring me back.

After all, I still have yet to get married.

Minimalism or Missed Opportunity?

2009-09-23T07:02:00.013-07:00

When we left off I was babbling on about Rosario and here´s a shot of the National Monument to the flag. IMO, the monument is more impressive then the flag.

Also the guy who designed it Belgrano is buried here. Here´s his eternal flame.

and finally the backside of the monument

I napped twice, both good naps with weird dreams. You know you´ve had a good nap when you have weird dreams and remember them.

I went out for another Steak dinner that was incredible by the way. $15 for salad, steak, and half bottle of a really tasty Malbec. This got me thinking, why haven´t done more of this? Am I trying to be too minimalist? Sure $15 is alot to spend when you could have a $2 ham and cheese sandwich. But the beef here is nothing like what we have the states. So am I being too minimalist? At which point does extreme practice of minimalism constitute a missed opportunity?

For example, at the winery the other day, after the tasting we had the chance to taste some of the other higher end wines, but they were $5 a glass. Point is when am I going to get the opportunity to taste the first pressing of the best Malbec grapes (in Mendoza) aged in brand new french oak barrels for $5 a glass? I passed because it seemed expensive. Putting it in perspective, prices are in Pesos here and when I´m spending 80 pesos a night for a hotel room, 20 peses for a glass of vine seems pricey, and it is, but minimalism or missed opportunity? I ask again. Tawk among-st yaselves.

Back to Rosario, some cool church

When I awoke yesterday morning is was POURING!

I wanted to browse around Rosario some more but seeing as how my flight leaves from Buenos Aires tomorow night (which is now today) I figured I´d better bag this place and make the 4 hour bus ride to BA and spend my final night there.

I met an interesting chick on the bus, Carola. Shes a hip hop signer in a band and a business student here in BA.

We discussed the differences in Argentinian and American culture and how EVERY American that travels down here dresses like me. Caro says she spot an American 10 kilometers away.

Looking for a hotel I wanted to step up a little and considered going WAY upscale but couldn´t justify 10% of my entire travel budget on 1 nights lodging. Some weeks ago I heard some trophy wife looking lady mention that the San Antonio was cheap and really nice. I was sure we had diffent definitions of "cheap..." ummm please, can we just agree to use the term "minimalist", thank you.

So when I was passing by it I stopped in and inquired about a room for the night. They were $50. I explained to the desk clerk, (in my best pre-rehearsed Spainish) that I had been traveling for 3 weeks and staying in hostels and cheap hotels and this would be my last night in Argentina and I wanted a little luxury. He said he would give me a suite for 10% more.

Here´s what my (roughly) $62 bought me in BA´s Puerto Madero high end section.

Here´s a view from the other angle

Here´s the view from someone as if they were looking in the window and what they see. A non moving lunk that kicked back in the ULTRA comfy bed all night.

So I leave tonight to come back to the states. Here´s my return pose.

So I´ve done it, and on budget too. $2000 for three weeks is not too bad for a grown up traveling like a kid with bad Spainish and an even worse sense of direction. Thanks Lomania for the miles and support! also PM for holding down the fort.

So all said and done, It was a great trip. I didn´t get to see all the things I wanted to and go everywhere I wanted to, but hey, that just means there more to see on my next trip, which knowing me I´ll be planning shortly.

Ciao Caio and see you soon stateside!

Wine, Bikes and Police

2009-09-20T14:35:00.027-07:00

Somebody said "more pictures please." Luckily i´m in an internet cafe with BLINDING speed, so here you go.

True to my word, I went back to the Parrillada for the meat lover´s meal. This one had a little of every kind of meat you could think of.

Which might have been a little aggressive considering the delicate state of my GI tract. I stuffed as much food down my gullett as I could stand, and tried a different Malbec. Pure heaven, Mate.

Here´s a cool looking building in Mendoza.

So I jumped a bus for the Maipu, the wine region, this morning and met some chicks studying abroad in BA but on a weekend getaway here in Mendoza. Sunday is the worst day to tour the vinyards here, as all but one is closed. We rented bikes for $5, and they were new and in great condiition. Here´s a shot of the girls getting bikes.

Now I forget each one of their names, but lets just call them Trixie, Daphne, Corrine, Janie, Jackie and Wanda. Here´s a shot half way to the Bodega with the snow covered Andes in the background.

As we were riding to the Bodega, EVERY carload of guys whistled, hooted or honked at the girls. Machismo is alive and well in Mendoza. The girls say they´re used to it, and don´t even realize it happening anymore.

We even had our own police escort with lights. All kiding aside.

You can see the cop, back right in the pic stopping traffic through the circle as we went through. Now if I could just get love from the police on a saturday morning group ride in Del Mar, I´d be awe-stricken with disbelief and amazement.

Here´s Trixie and Janey doing "glamour shots" on the bikes

and again just goofing off, they had a lot of personality, which is refreshing.

Finally we arrived at Carinae, a small boutique winery specializing in Cab Sav and Malbecs. Its good to know that it was "Opened"

Starting the tour

The wine is made artesanal style here, with little modern technology. The weather is very dry (you could feel it in the air) but water runs freely from the Andes down small aquaducts next to the road.

Heres the inside of the winery with the exopy lined fermentation vessels right and left.

Interesting to note that they only use the french oak barrels 5 times before getting rid of them. The newer the oak barrel the more oak flavor it imparts on the wine, which is exactly the opposite for whiskey and tequila. The more used the barrel, the more oak flavor.

Here´s our guide Andrea

Barrels as far as the eye can see plus a stained glass crest of the winerys logo in the background. Carinae is a constellation in the solar system and all the areas of the vinyard are named afters stars and solar systems.

Instead of budget hotels, I d be happy with a sleeping bag, a spigot and funnel in here. The smell of wine was intoxicating in and of itself.

and finally the wine tasting... ahhh...

While the Malbec is big here, "possibly ginormous," they also make a pretty good Cab Sav, and a very interesting Cab Sav Mablec blend. Normally, being the beer wine purist that I am, blends seem a little like mixing italian and blue cheese dressing ,which actually I do from time to time. But the Malbec, while a little grapey in flavor, blends really well with the Cab Sav, balancing it between dry and fruity. In addition to that It almost sounds like I know what Im talking about.

After the tasting we were all pretty hungry so we hit up Kiosko Omar for a boatload of empanadas. They were really good. I grabbed a few for tonights bus ride.

Here´s a shot of Fred and me on the way back.

Fred´s a journalist from France on vacation for a month here in Argentina. Fred is possibly cheaper...ummm rather more "minimalmist" then I. I told him I was spending 80 pesos ($19) a night on a hotel room and he almost had a heart attack. Of course he´s sweating it out in a 8 person dorm with a few snor-a-saurouses.

Its interesting, everyone I meet here says "Are you on Facebook." My answer is always, "reluctantly, yes." Facebook kind of annoys me because it seems like its a game to see how many possible "friends" you can have. "Juan has 353 friends" maybe 2 of which he´d recognize if they approached on the street. Really, do you want the internet connected population of the world to know you´re camping this weekend and steal your flatscreen, dog and your grandmothers three handled moss covered family grudunza?

It also seems disingenious to me because you cant always say what you feel. I mean do really want the whole world to know everything you´re feeling? For example, a post that starts like "I feel like shit today, my dog died" might be followed with a thumbs up that says "5 people like this." Does that seem "genuine" to you? Boo to that, I say.

That being said, I´m starting to come around to Facebook a little, here comes the about face, ready?) Its kind of handy to keep in touch with people you´ve just met traveling and whos path you might cross again, at least in the world of wishful thinking anyway. So while I´m not a believer, lets just say I´m keeping an open mind to the possibiliites.

One word on the PSDS. I´m very excitied to report that after cafeful scrutinization, I´m raising the PSDS, (Paul´s Spainish Defcon Scale) to a rich optimistic 6 on the 1 to 10 scale. I´ve started to understand the spoken word here a little better and calle and cashe not longer confuse me. Also, while hardly scientific, Ive encountered many people that also thought they could speak Spainish "until coming to Argentina." While this does reflect a small one point drop in PSDS from where it was at the start of this trip, it also means that cats and dogs are safe from crossbreeding and religous fanatics the world over can keep killing each other in the name of god without fear of the apocolypse.

After the worlds worst bus ride, I quite possibly had the best ever last night. A bus cama, no seat next to me and sleep the entire ride.

I´m now in Rosario, Argentina and I´ve got to say, this is quite possibly my favorite city in Argentina. It has all the big city feel of BA, without being too big, culture and architecture and a beach culture on the rio Parana.

Heres my $19 a night hotel room, and the word "budget" is starting to get a little... TOO budget.

So I´m down to my last 2 nights in South America and seriously considering some luxury for my final night here.

I guess wine bikes and police do mix after all, whod da thunk it?

Mendoza in Jurassic Times

2009-09-19T16:45:00.012-07:00

I´m feeling better so here´s my juvenille attempt at humor.

Hopping the bus to Mendoza, I never realized I would be involved in a flashback to prehistroric times, but this being friday night the bus was PACKED. Not an empty seat in the house and all the windows were dripping with condensation. This bus ride was easily my most brutal yet. Surely if H1N1 was alive and well in South America, and someone on this bus had it, everyone on this bus would be infected on arrival in Mendoza (just poetic license KR, EASY!)

This however would be the least of my worries as the gentlemen to sit next to me was a 6´5" 300 lbs grumpy goliath with sleep apnea that I affectionatly will refer to Snore-a-saurous (credit to Skzmmth for the original name). No sooner did we disembark as Snore-a-saurous began sawing logs shaking the windows as we rumbled along our 13 hour nocturnal journey toward Mendoza. It would not have been wrong for Snore-a-saurous to purchase 2 seats as his body mass encroached into the passenger space next to him which was however unfortunately, occupied by ME.

As this was more then I was willing to tolerate, I awoke snore-a-saurous by shaking his shoulder and informing him that he was snoring the whole bus awake. Now not to get on my high horse, Í haven´t always been known as the quietest sleeper, but when I´m upright with my inflatable head pillow I´m generally harmless.

I nudged Snore-a-saurous back into consciousness some 5 times until he finally grumbled a threat, "Don´t touch me again."

In Kung Fu we have a saying, "speed kills," and I´m pretty sure that in an open setting a 6´5" 300lbs Snore-a-saurous isn´t moving at lightning speed and I could take him no problem. But we aren´t in an open setting, I´m in a window seat and he controls the isle. So I started coreagraphing a close in fighting confrontation in my head, remembering my Fu. Left outward block, right leopard fist to the throat, left eagle claw to the eyes, and right elbow to the temple. That should do it.

Thankfully it never came to that. I decided to retaliate passive-aggressively, and by passive I mean passing gas and wafting it directionally toward him. Given my recent GI distress this could be considered a violation of the Geneva Treaty and most certainly a chemical weapons assault.

After a few gassing episodes the Snore-a-saurous muttered something faintly surrendourous that sounded like it contained the word "mama," but I cant be sure.

Apparently chemical warefare was not enough to deter the aggressions of the Snore-a-saurous as we rumbled and bumbled down the road rocking out to the Flinestonesque not so sweet music.

I gave up at this point, dropped another half a xanex and tuned out.

Arriving in Mendoza, the Snore-a-saurous was the first one off the bus. Maybe there´s an upside to chemical warfare after all. Here´s breakfast at the train station, Costco esque hotdog, called a Poncho and cafe con leche.

I took the walking tour of the town, there´s really no better way to aclimate yourself to the surroundings, (ie find internet cafes, hotels ect.) Here´s the fountain at the Plaza Independencia

I tooled around for bit and Mendoza is a big Skiing hub for the Andes above. There´s a whole street dedicated to ski eqiupment rental and tours. Ahhh, next time...leg heal...want ski...real bad...want come back... fire good(OK kidding on that last one)

LP says Mendoza has 111,000 residents, roughly 1/3 the size of Sante Fe, but it feels larger and more populous. The streets are wider with more lanes and everything feels bigger. Apparently after an earthquake in 1861 the authorities anticipated the next earthquake by rebuilding the street wider with larger plazas so the people would have a place to escape and the rubble could fall harmlessly into the street. Kind of cool looking streets here.

I settled in to the LP budget hotel recommendation, "Laser Hotel." The only thing remotely modern about the "Laser Hotel" is that the word "Laser" appears in the name.

This is by far the the most... ummm... "budget accomodations" I´ve had since I´ve been in SA. They were all out of single rooms, so I had to step up to a double. This is what $19 night buys you here.

I don´t know if you can see it but the bed has a remarkable concave shape that should only add to its luxurios comfort.

And of course the obligitory shower in the middle of the bathroom never felt so good.

My appetite returned and so has my spirits. I treated myself to an EXCEPTIONAL ´late afternoon meal. An awesome steak, green salad and an 1/2 bottle of an INCREDIBLE Malbec for $14. So good I think I´ll go back for a late dinner and have the same thing! Me dejiste Pablita.

Tomorrow I´m renting a bicycle and riding the Wine tour loop, 40 km and taking a tour of the only vinyard open on Sunday. 40 km is what about 24 miles? Not that much but it depends on what type of bike. So Vamos a ver!

Se abre el cielo

2009-09-18T10:30:00.012-07:00

On the eve of my departure from Montevideo it was Juan´s 26th birthday celebration and another potential "Big Party Night." I calmly and rationally explained that although I really wanted to party until sunrise again, it would violate the terms of service (TOS) of my life-contract as my 2 big party nights were used up for 2009.

Actually I just said I was tired.

So the clouds parted and sun came out (somewhat) in Sante Fe. Its a quiet little town with not much to offer in the way of sights. Theres a 16th century monestary/convent
with a cool church inside. Here´s where they bury the sacerdotes

Heres what the courtyard looks like.

I´m finding myself wishing I would have bussed it out this morning instead of hanging around. I left myself a lot of time to kill here with little to do. I did the LP walking tour which was less then exciting. Out of my first 24 hours here I think I slept 18 of them.

Here´s a statue to Juan de Garay, he´s the founder of Sante Fe and a Spainish Basque Conquistador.

The leg is much better today and I can pretty much walk normally on it, which is good because I did A LOT of walking today.

The digestive system is much better today too, the Cipro and Loperamide are calming things down, but there´s still a lot gurgling going on inside my midsection which my head-section a little nervous.

I catch a 930p bus to Mendoza, but first I was going to treat myself to a nice steak dinner at a LP recommended restaurant, but I´ve lost my appetite.

Not much to report today, sorry. Plus its a little hard to be witty when your funny bone aches.

Ciao Ciao Montevideo and the NO cotton poicy

2009-09-17T13:04:00.003-07:00

Apparently I´ve wronged someone named Montezuma, because he´s getting his revenge on me. How can I say this delicately? Luckily its the unidirectional variety and not the dreaded and incapaciting bidirectional type. Although thats a silver lining, its of little comfort to me at present.

Gastrointestinal issues have to be the worst. If your shoulder hurts when you lift something over your head you can just use the other one. Its not like you can stop using your stomach. My appetite has vastly decreased, I think its more the advance knowledge of whats to come than lack of hunger.

I consulted my Lonely Planet guide which of course listed the drugs needed, and this being South America, they are available at every pharmacy on every corner just for the asking.

So this being my last day in Montevideo, I explored the city center and I´m sorry to report that although I had many very nice pix to show you, when I tried to upload my photos the virus checker at the last internet cafe deleted them. Not just those pictures but ALL my pictures. So I switched memory chips and will try to recover them when I get home.

Meanwhile there´s a interesting fellow staying here at the hostel, Clayton. He´s from Texas and a die hard Bush supporter. He´s a self taught wine afficianado and trying to start a wine importing business (and I didn´t know they had wine in Texas) and is here doing "research." He´s seems like a nice guy even if he is a bit of tool. By tool I mean he carries a hunting knife around with him 24/7 (in case he hits a dog on the road and has to put it out of its misery or for self defense) and even packed his playstation to bring to Uruguay. I had a picture of him, I´ll have to upload it later. Lets just use this somewhat less then accurate picture to visualize him. By less then accurate I am referring ONLY to the nipple ring.

So Ciao Ciao to Montevideo (Ciao Ciao is how they say bye bye here like when hanging up the phone.) Taking the bus to Sante Fe last night, I arrived at 6 this morning. It was one of those double decker sleeper buses, a bus cama they call it. The only real difference is that theres one less row of seats on one side. The seats DO NOT fully recline as I expected. I got the first window seat on the second level which gave me a unique perspective.

And away we go...

Part of the reason for the overnight bus is to avoid spending money on a hotel while saving a day in transit. After a very uncomfotable bus ride (see opening paragraph) I couldn´t wait until 1p to check into a hotel with a PRIVATE BATHROOM, so I wound up paying for 2 nights anyway. I checked in at 7a beat tired, went to sleep and didn´t wake up until 3p this afternoon. I´ve been hard charging, or hard hobling as the case may be, since my skiing mishap and had planned a day down. The leg is still angry and swollen, but better after the 24 hour rest I gave it. It´ll probably be after I get back to the states before it loves me again.

It has been pouring rain here in Sante Fe, and when I say pouring I mean POURING!

Here´s where my no cotton policy pays dividends. I can be soaked in a downpour, get out of the rain and be dry 5 minutes later. With these waterproof Merril shoes (which I´m palping proudly because they ROCK!) 5 minutes and I never even knew I was wet.

So whats in Sante Fe? Argentina´s prettiest women (they must be hiding, or more likely staying dry) an ultra modern brewery which I wanted to tour until I tasted their beer, which is budweiser-esque, and just a day off. Its also a half way point to my next destination, Mendoza. 75% of Argentina´s wine comes from Mendoza, like the much revered Malbec. After that, where the wind takes me, quien sabe (who knows).

Hit and Run in Colonia del Sacramento

2009-09-15T16:31:00.011-07:00

Good news! I´m pleased to report no change in the overnight PSDS. In fact I´m considering raising it to a 6 (stay tuned as things change fast here.) After a lengthy conversation last night with a Chilean couple in which I acquitted myself most adequately. They commented how good my Spainish was but a few sentences later I found myself saying "what?" and "say that again." Its the equivilent of someone saying what great hearing you have and your reply is "huh?"

Speaking of good mews, heres a shot of Gomez the house gurn sitting at the table. We´ve become buds.

The tues noon group ride in Montevideo, no helmets allowed.

I took the bus to to Colonia del Sacramento, just a hit and run daytrip. Colonia was founded by the Portugese in 1680 to smuggle goods across the river into BA. The Spainish captured it 1762. Cool little cobblestone streets and lots of charm. This is a little more of what I want to see.

Some of those battlements are still around.

Heres the light house (19th century)

and the view from it

I know what you´re thinking, "Paul, this is cool and all, but do they have giant petrified mushrooms?"

Why yes, yes they do. (picture not mine)

Paraguay is out. They wont let me in, they must have heard I was planning on coming. Actually it takes to long to get a visa for me to go, plus they want to charge me $100 to get in. Undoubtedly we´re screwing their citizens so turnabout is fair play. Brazil, same thing. So I head off to Sante Fe to explore more of Argentina on a Bus Cama, meaning the seats fully recline into beds this time.

from there maybe Mendoza and who knows after that....

La Jolla on Steroids

2009-09-14T17:24:00.013-07:00

After a well derserved, relaxing and not to mention REQUIRED night of sleep, I can still feel the effects of "Big Party Night." I think I have maybe energy or the desire for about 2 "Big Party Nights" per year and I´ve used them both up in 2009. Although 2010 is right around the corner....

I decided to do a little daytriping until I jet off to my next destination. I´ve heard that the happening spot in Uruguay is Punta del Este, the playground of the rich and famous. Naturally it sounded like something worth seeing because at this rate I´ll never be living there so I went.

I took an overpriced tour bus with a guide that spoke both Spanish and English that costs $50 for the day. A little overpriced considering they were probably getting kickbacks from the "recommended" stops.

Our first stop was a small beach peninsula of Pirapolis with an ancient chair lift up from the port. The view was something behold.

Of course its all about how to screw the tourists, so our first stop was a small curios shop at the top of the hill (with a monument to some saint, probably the excuse to stop there) where I´m sure the proprietors have a "profit sharing arrangement" with tour company. That never fails to piss me off, so I bought frigerator magnet just so I had the right to feel abused. The Saint was something of this or that or maybe the other. They all kinda blend together after a while.

There was also a 60´s-esq chairlift up from the port that I was dying to ride but time wouldn´t permit. Not exactly a high speed quad at Mammoth, this baby took 15 minutes to get to the top and another 15 minutes to get back down. It would have been cool to say I rode some sketchy "you could die" type chair lift in Uruguay though.

The high point of the day was the visit to the CasaPueblo, home of an artist named Carlos Paez Vilaro. He also built a museum and resort next to his house. This guy didn´t miss a marketing beat as even the entry tickets had a rafle for one of his paintings AFTER you give him your personal info of course. His style is sort of Picasso-esq and he has pictures of himself with Picasso and a room dedicated his style.

The building was done in Gaudi style architecture, minus the mosaics, which of course is the key to Gaudi.

Punta del Este is the point at which the ocean meets the Rio de la Plata that separates Argentina and Uruguay. At one point in the street you can water on all four sides, front back, right and left. Its also where the super rich have houses, not just the super rich Urugauyans, but rich from all over the world. Its so exclusive the houses have names instead of numbers. This one is called Aguamarina and belongs to some princess.

They call this section Beverly Hills (no joke.)

I spent most of the day walking around with Kristina and Steve, a couple from Minneapolis. Steve is one of those laid back guys that is funny but doesn´t really laugh. It felt good speaking English for a change and I spoke a lot of it. My brain needed the rest after working so hard decifering Argentinian Spainish. Of course "Big Party Night" was not exactly aiding my mental acuity at this point.

Argentinian Spanish immersion for the native English speaking traveler can really be mentally taxing. Here´s another small example. I´ve mentioned the "SH" sound replaces the "Y" in speech here. Good enough. but that also extends to the double "L" too, so "calle" becomes "cashay", "Ella" becomes "Aisa" and worst of all is someone introducing themselves. Normally you might hear "Yo me llamo" but here its "Sho me shamo." I´m hearing "Show me Shamu" and thinking of taking everyone I meet to Seaworld, home of the killer ballenas. Here though they are bashenas.

I´ve stated before that for a native english speaker I´m probably a 7 on a scale from 1 to 10. At this time I would care to revise or amplify that statement. In fact I´m lowering Paul´s Spanish Defcon Scale or PSDS to a conservative 5. If we reach 1 then cats start sleeping with dogs and the world comes very close to apocolypse.

My stop off the bus caught me by surprise and I forgot to tip the guide. Maybe they can take it out of the cost of my fridge magnet.

Actually it wasn´t a bad day, just not a great one. They can´t all be home runs right?

Montevideo and big party night (cleaned and revised)

2009-09-13T15:51:00.017-07:00

Because I slept in until 10am this morning (EASY now, there´s a four hour time difference remember?) I missed the Bloquebus (say blow-k-boos) noon ferry-bus combination to Uruguay. That what happens when you make no plans and fly wherever the wind takes you.

I met Hernan getting off the bus and he said he knew a well recomended Hostel and we just have to get there. Hernan must have some distant relatives in the Gates bloodline because he has the Famous Gates Sense of Direction. We took 2 buses and asked directions from 5 different people before we found the place...

Its called Punto Berro and its very nice for being a party/stoner Hostel

Things are more expensive here Montevideo then Buenos Aires. Here´s a shot of the room.

Hernan and I were a little dismayed to learn that its $17 a night for a bunk in the dorms but it didn´t matter for 2 reasons.

1.) I didn´t have any rommates to worry about and

2.) I didn´t sleep.

They party slowly and all night long here in Montevideo. Here´s a shot of the wrecking crew. The guy holding the bong second from the left is Sebastian or seba for short. Next to his left is Juan, the owner of the hostel.

Pot must have the oppisite effect on these guys because it didn´t seem to calm them
down one bit. Personal use is legal/accepted here Uruguay. Our party itinerary went like this.

11pm-Arrive and begin to party at the hostel almost immeadiately until...

130am-Walk a few blocks down the road and buy some more booze and party in the street until...

The Argentinian Spainish has been coming at me really fast all night long and I´m getting maybe half of it. OK more like a third. I can get simple sentences, but many of the words are different down here as well as the pronunciation. They speak with some of the sterotypical italian traits, raising and lowering their voices and accentuating syllables in the middle of a word. Also they pronounce the letter "Y" with a "shhh" type sound. So "La Playa" becomes "La Plasha" or "Uruguayan" becomes "Uruguashan." Also they drop the last letters of words, not as bad as the chileans, but "nos vamos" becomes "no vamo," making it that much harder to understand. I´m starting to get a little frustrated because you´d think after studying Spainsh all these years, (studying passionately I might add,) that I´d get it a little better by now. Anywhoo on with the story...

430am-Go to the club where it so packed and stacked I could barely wiggle an arm free to snap this shot.

630am-Leave the club and walk to the beach singing "Ya viene almaniciendo, la luz ya nos ilumbra"

645am (ish)-Party on the beach and catch the sunrise in Montevideo

730am (ish-time begins to have little importance when you havent slept) Return to the Hostel and party a little more.

Sometime mid morning head hits pillow, body goes slack, everything fades to black and I am OUT...

Honestly I dont know I managed it, or many "big party nights" I have left in this 30 something, (allright 40 something) year old body that houses my 25 year old brain and teenage common sense.

This afternoon Hernan and I went to see the street fair which was supposed to be an antique fair but basically was a Uruguayan swap meet and the Museo de Artes Visuales. Hernan works in an art gallery in BA and is really an interesting guy to go to a museum with. As we were walking, (actually Hernan was walking, I was limping on the gimpy leg that was not too happy about all the recent abuse,) back to the hostel I snapped this pic with the ocean in the background. Notice how long the shadows are...

Tomorrow I´m off to Punto del Este, tuesday-Colonia del Sacramento and wednesday I jump on a sleeper bus for Acunsion, Paraguay and Igazu Falls. I´ll keep you posted...

Doin´the Cemetary Tango

2009-09-12T08:03:00.022-07:00

Where did I leave off? Yes, I was blogging and uploading pictures with (very) limited success. Well its a new day and a new internet cafe, plus I´ve found myself with some time to kill while I wait for the ferry to Uruguay, so here it goes...

Sometimes I take things a little too seriously on the bike. Here´s a shot of my guide who happens to be riding in the front of the leadout train for my rival. I´m tucked in her slipstream (which is considerable) getting ready to pip her at the line.

Two Chorizos from london staying at the Milhouse party hostel showed up for the bike tour this afternoon wearing identical stripped shorts. While the possibility that they were twins occured to me, I quickly ruled it out based on physical appearences. There was little doubt in my mind, however that this fashion ensemble was carefully coordinated. Keep in mind its about 55 degrees here. So I filled in the blanks from their conversation this morning. Here´s how I imagine it went.

(thumps the bunk above him twice with his foot) "Dude, I´m so hungover"

(leaning over the side of the bunk looking down) "Oh man, me too, those Yeager bombs are da bomb. uhhhh, Let´s go on that Bike Tour."

"Right on, what are you going wear? I´m going with my stripped shorts"

"NOW WAY, DUDE! Thats what I´m going to wear!"

A picture would have been a thousand words here, I know.

There´s an interesting story about this flower that mechanically opens in the morning and closes at night. Apparently Juan Peron tried to build airplanes in the 40´s or 50´s and they were a huge flop, they wouldn´t even fly. So in 2000 some artists salvaged the aircraft aluminum and built this giant flower.

Here´s some of those Recolleta cemetary pictures I promised...

The cemetary was like a miniature city with each crypt a monument to the family and a display of wealth. Here´s a view inside of one. The floor goes underground for more bodily storage (that kinda sounded wierd huh?)

Eva´s tomb, not that extravagant considering...

Here´s what happens when your family doesn´t pay the upkeep fee. The cemetary lets your crypt uhh, "go to hell," so to speak.

Here ex-president Sarmiento´s monument.

Apparently when you´re famous and die, towns and organizations make plaques as a tribute to you. Sarmiento´s legacy was revolutionizing education and he died pennyless, so he gets a lot of plaques...

The cemetary is cat heaven and these Gurns are all friendly and look well fed.

Here´s another exPresidents tomb Irigoyen

After the bike tour I strolled back to the hotel via busy Ave Florida. Lots of glitzy shops and vendors "tourist hunting" to sell their wares. Not really worth posting photos, especially since I didn´t take any.

On to Tango. I got a coupon from the Bike Tour company for 170 pesos (about $40) for dinner and a Tango show. I was a little leary about the quality of the show, but I´m a risk taker right? I asked about the show´s quality and the tour operator said "oh yeah, its BocaTango!" Like thats some kind of brand that everybody knows. Grabbing a Taxi, (I´ve been avoiding them up until now for the sake of adventure) and the Taxista has never heard of it. Not good. We get to the neighborhood and while he´s looking for the address he says "hey, lock your door in this neigborhood its safer, and when you get out watch your pockets." Now I´m really feeling it, "it" being the excitment of another ADVENTURE!

Sadly, we get there and its totally legit.

In fact its a whole Tango compound with little rooms museum style showing what it was like in the 30´s including a live sleeping dog.

It was more then dinner and a Tango show. They had a little play first. The whole thing was very professional, well acted and REALLY well done even if it was a little commercial. I´ll give you plot outline with a little color added for flavor

La Boca is the rivermouth where immigrants settled and built houses from corregated sheet metal and painted them with leftover paint from the ships, hence the bright colors

That sounds really cool, maybe someday they´ll paint tar paper shacks in Tijuana bright mexico orange and it´ll be cool too.

Onto the plot. Fatiga is secretly in love with the beatiful Lulu.
Fatiga would be way over-broad-ed here.

When Fatiga finds out that the fearsome Malevo has forced her into prostitution,
actually Fatiga´s is just pissed because he didn´t think of it first

He challenges Malevo to a duel of knives stirring up a kerfuffle.
A kerfuffle is a hairball your cat coughs up also known as a frontal trout

Emboldened by his love for Lulu, Fatiga manages to defeat Malevo in front of the whole neighborhood.
Oh yeah, Malevo´s got no problem looking bad in front of the whole ´hood.

In view of such a chivalrous attitude a romance blossoms between Lulu and Fatiga,
Actually she dumps him two months later, resenting him for rescuing her and sending the message she can´t take care of herself

and at last, Fatiga´s feelings for Lulu are requited
Not only does being "un" requited really suck, but it makes for a not so happy ending

Pictures were strictly PROHIBITED, which means I snapped them indescriminantly until my camera´s battery died.

Dinner was REALLY good, I had the steak. It was quite dressy in there.

and I was feeling a little ex-officio underdressed...

Is it just me, or is this argentinian dude a dead ringer for a skinny mel gibson with a yahoo serious haircut? Ya, it must just me.

The Tango Show was incredible, there were about 5 couples a live orchestra and alot of good dancing. Wow! I hit this one spot on. Sorry, no photos battery died, and they were really serious about not photographing the dancers.

So I´m to Uruguay on the Buquebus, the high speed ferry. Here´s a virtual tour Looks pretty fancy. Something tells me that for my $40 bucks i´ll be steerage. Maybe I´ll get someone sitting next to me with 2 chicken in a cage on his lap.

BA by bike and muscial hotels

2009-09-11T07:37:00.011-07:00

Bright and early and hungover yesterday at 930a (hey now, theres a 4 hour time difference) I took a bike tour of the city. Since its the low season (and no one else showed up) I got my own guided private tour. The bikes were single speed crusiers with what felt like a one piece crank, that pedaled in a helix instead of a circle, and a rock for a seat.

I´m in a bit a different situation of this trip. Normally I have more money then time, which makes expediency the priority, ie plane vs bus. Planning this trip I expected to have more time than money, going low budg and spending three weeks down here. I am realizing that in evaluating my time vs money conundrum, I really don´t have very much of either. In fact, its always one or the other isnt it? Suddenly I´m not feeling very cool.

It felt like a year since I´ve ridden even though its only been a week. And oh so good to be on 2 wheels. This really is a great to see the city and get around by bike even though its not too bike friendly.

We started at the San Martin Monument

and the memorial to the vetrans of the Falklands War, a touchy subject here.

So touchy they put the war memorial to the 600 that died right across from the English monument

The Puerto , notice the bridge built and paid for by the Hiltons (of the hotel fame.) It moves 90 degrees so boats can pass.

The ecological reserve and across the estuary is Uruguay.

I traded in my Hotel room for another across the street. The old one was $25 a night same as they new. I think I´ll play musical $25 hotel rooms for a while in Buenos Aires just to keep things interesting.

Not much of a step up, but the bathroom is really interesting. You shower in the middle of the floor. That should be an experience, AND experience(s) is what its all about right? Whether they´re good or bad, different or indifferent.

Today I did the bike tour again only to Palermo and Recoletta, stopping by the famous cemetary, which truly was amazing. Really for $20 (cost of tour) and a $5 tip for my own guide and a bike to boot? Does it get any better? I think not. Here´s a shot of the cemetary. Go ahead have it... I got lots of em...

(picture omitted as internet cafe computer functiality lacking and I gotta run)

The leg keeps hurting less...

Tonight off to a steak dinner and Tango show! Maybe tomorrow Uruguay, I´ll decide when I wake up in the morning.

Buenos Aires!

2009-09-10T17:28:00.002-07:00

So no sooner had I swore a blood fued of vengence against the bus station ticket sellers, and the pass opened up. If they knew what I said about them a thousand apologies wouldn´t be enough. Trying to find the right bus I was reminded about how different the Spainish is down here, (again...) I handed my ticket to some obvious bus looking dude and he says ¨Boo Feeny¨I said huh? I´m thinking this guy doesn´t understand, my name is Paul. He keeps saying boo feeny, boo feeny. Finally I figure out he means ¨Bus Fenix¨Why didn´t he just say that in the first place? Instead he drops the last syllable of each word. I boarded the Boo Feeny, off I went. It was actually pretty comfortable boo feeny, I mean for a boo feeny this thing wasn´t so bad, and I´ve riden so pretty sketchy boo feenies in my day. It was only about a third full and everybody had a window seat and an empty next to them. Here´s a shot going up the pass

With some time to kill, 22 hours to be exact, I pulled a book from the library aka my backpack, aka stupidity when you´re lugging around on your back through South America. I had expected to lightening this load a little quicker.

That bus ride CRAWLED over that mountain pass, stopping to allow oncoming traffic to squeeze through. The distance isn´t really that far, at least to the border with Argentina, but by the time we had cleared customs we had been on the road for 8 hours. After they stamped my passport I realized that I only have 6 pages left out of 20 for visa stamps. I´m so cool.

I did get a good look at the Portillo ski resort. It is literally on the Argentine border and some of the ski runs are groomed right over the tunnels that we traveled under.

Here´s what it looks like from the road going under the chair lift.

Here´s some terrain that had me thinking, ¨Hmmmmm, fresh dry squinchy snow!¨Yummy, my titanium leg aches just thinking about... Laugh it up Portillo, you and I have unfinished business....

The bus was equiped with GPS speed navigation and read out that tells you how fast the bus is going and how long the driver has been driving. I guess the driver isn´t supposed to drive for more then 5 hours straight, which is why it came as no surprise to me that the display said that the driver, Mora Carlos Sanchez had been in the hot seat for 10 hours and 18 minutes. Hmmmm. Heres a blurry shot of the sign.

So I bought a nice cab sav to sip on the trip, and after opening it I was pleasantly surprised. It had delicate hints of lavender and smoke with suttle hints of licorice and cinnamon. The flavors were a little bound up but released well as it propertly decanted. I couldn´t help but thinking how sophisticated and refined I´ve become as I poured some more wine from the box into my plastic cup.

A little while later I was reunited with my little purple friend and it was Zani night night...

They pass out blankets numbered in case you are thinking of stealing one.

The morning we arrived in Buenos Aires about 2 hours late, so I´ve my dream of a 24 hour bus ride in South America, my only wish was that the bus had been more crowed and the guy sitting next to me would have 2 chickens in cage on his lap. Ah well there´s always next time.

Once we landed I did the Famous Gates Sense of Direction Walking Tour, or FGSDWT for short. I´ll save you the details but lets just say involves alot circles and swearing.

Before I left Valpariso I consulted LP and found that Milhouse Hostel was BA´s premier party hostel. When I got there I was a little foggy from sleeping on the bus and I felt 10 years older then I really am, (which would make me about 35.) Milhouse hostel is the equivalent of a Vegas Casino for the backpacker. You never have to leave, they have food booze parties, tours everything. Which was kind of cool, except I was looking for a little more, um adventure i guess would be the right word. It just seems too easy. It all seemed to be going well until I found out that a single room was $47! Thats outrageous! So I went for an $11 a night dorm room, thats my bunk on the bottom left.

I mean I could do this right? Don´t the laws of minimalism specifically state in some subsection of some part that one cannot get squimish about these things? I mean WWFD?

I battled with the idea of three other sausages sleeping on bunk beds about three feet apart and the inevitable snore symphony that most certainly would transpire. On the bright side I could make some beautiful music in there. I wonder if its like when women spend alot of time together would our snores synchronize? I pondered this as I wondered how many times 3 dudes get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and would I wake up each time and how long it would take to get back to sleep.

Then I went downstairs and upgraded to a private room. It was REALLY a nice room. It kind of small so its hard to photograph, but it had a nice modern bathroom as well.

I attempted the LPWT, but between the throb in my leg and navigational abilities it didn´t go so well. I settled for watching Argentina battle Uruguay for the world and drinking cheap beer. Uruguay won and the place was dead quiet. After that I partied late night at the Hostel

and I´m a little wrecked from it today. More on the sights tomorrow, Ciao!

Not just another Snow-Job

2009-09-07T09:28:00.016-07:00

So I leaped out of bed this morning, dashed off to catch the bus to Buenos Aires only to find out that the pass is still closed, but MAY open tomorrow. Which is what they said yesterday and I´m sure they´ll say tomorrow. Not only that but all buses out of here pass through Argentina, so I can´t go anywhere else either. The other option is go back to Santiago and catch a flight, which is looking like a better and better and oh yes far more expensive option.

First the nice pretty pictures...

Here´s a shot down the street from the Hostel in front of the Acensor late last night.

Here´s the same shot this morning

Heres a shot from the window in my room a couple days ago.

Enough with the niceties. So with a day to kill and hope to skewer and roast on the barbie, I set out of in search of an adventure in Valparaiso, or Valpo for short. I happened upon a old hole in the wall bar advertising cheap prices on beer. FYI, I´ve given up blogging about or searching out a hoppy robust West Coast IPA style beer in the rest of the un-free world. I´m even a little hesistant mentioning it, as I might get my hopes up, and start frothing at the mouth and have to be put down like the rabid Chilean dog I am.

So I´m drinking a beer, and yes they are big...

and I start up a conversation with Karl from Germany who finds it rather odd that a foreigner would pick this bar. He says this bar is for old people and everyone here will be dead in 10 years, maybe less. He and I fit right in. Karl is a tortured artist and poet, (as if there´s any other kind.) Here came here traveling 30 years ago and never left. Heres a shot of him in his US Navy surplus overcoat.

So we have a couple beers, and a couple more. Know that Karl is MAYBE 140 lbs soaking wet downhill with a tailwind at altitude. Three beers and this guy is a drunk tortured poet. The coversation, which is all in Chilean Bastardizion Spainish gets harder and harder for me to understand. Here´s a shot of Karl his girlfriend and me. In case you´re wondering thats the gimp leg pointing skyward in all its glory

We start talking and and the conversations turns to my travel plans, which I happily disclose Buenos Aires as my next destination. Turns out the newspaper says the pass to Argentina isn´t going to open for ANOTHER 10 days because of the snow in the Andes. Talk about your all time snow jobs. Another guy in the bar seconds this, and I am...lets just say... less then happy as those bastards at the bus station have been telling me, ¨posiblimente mañana, mañana....¨ Probably knowing full well that a bus isn´t going to even see the light of Argentina in the next 10 days. You live, you learn. I just wish I could be learnED instead of learnING.

So ummm, on the bright side, even though its been some time since I´ve been, well... intimate, I can say I got a really good ¨Snow¨-job.

Daytripper...(the wrong kind of) a one way ticket yeah!

2009-09-06T14:24:00.021-07:00

I´m still calming down from an ATM scare I had, so I´m a little shaky writing this. I´ll do my best to rise above it and provide you with the witty reprose you´ve come to love and admire. In a nutshell, I lost my San Diego County Credit Union ATM card today, which is where my precious few travel sheckles have been sheltered from the current economic hurricane. Which scared the holy ba-jesus out of me, as it has a VISA logo on it and who knows who could have drained the thing down here. I think I left it in an ATM this afternoon, but i´m not really sure. I think the machine sucks it back up when you dont pull it out after a while. Sadly enough I did the same thing in Cuernavaca a fe years ago. Thankfully I was able to cancel it online with SDCCU before any unauthorized activity occured. Without money many thousands of miles from home I could be... lets just say... screwed, blued and tattooed.

While retracing my steps my backup plans went steaming through my mind. Specifically plans A through E. Here they are for your amusement or ridicule whichever strikes you first:

Backup Plan A: Using my Skank of America ATM card, which kind of sucks because they charge you an international fee, non-BofA ATM fee, and a foreign exchange fee. After reading the rest of my backup plans I´m sure you´ll agree that this would be the preferred option.

Backup Plan B: Begging ShitiBank for a cash advance. I´m sure they´d very kind and understanding with the fees.

Backup Plan C: Calling YOU for a western union money transfer.

Backup Plan D: I won´t go into details, but lets just say its not pretty and involves prostitution on a Chilean street corner.

Backup Plan E: Live like the dog I am.

Crisis averted. I´m happy to report that I´ve settled on Backup Plan A. Onto my walking tour of Valparaiso, but first a little of the lay of the land. Most of the houses are built on the surrounding hills over looking the port. Its a gritty little town with lots of wires and sort of rough appeal. Getting up and down from the Hostel involves taking primitive cable cars called Asensores. Built in 1883, they are both transportation and entertainment.Lets take a ride down the hill, shall we?

In case my link to youTube doesn´t work click here

What goes down must go up, or do I have that backwards? Speaking of going up, this video took 2 hours to upload, so PLEASE watch it. Thank goodness internet access is free here at the Hostal. But free is generally CRAPPP!

or click here

On my way to Plaza Sotomayor to start my Lonely Planet Walking tour, (here after referred to as the LPWT,) I realized how poorly animals are treated here. These poor meowers were obviously sick. The big one has snot coming out of his nose and you could feel the vertibrae and ribs sticking out of the little kitty.

Best let sleeping dogs lie...because they are everywhere.

At Plaza Sotomayor, heres a shot of the naval building.

and a tribute to the Chile´s naval ¨martyrs.¨ After 9-11, that word always makes me a little nervous.

After the ATM incident I headed to the Bus terminal to buy a ticket to Buenos Aires. One thing I was looking forward to on this trip is a 24 hour bus ride across the Andes. What can I say, I´m a cyclist, we love suffering. I was only a little disappointed as the trip would take just 22 hours. Darn, I´ll just have to get by. Problem is the mountain pass is closed today due to snow, and may not be open tomorrow either. In which case I´ll try to make it to Asuncion Paraguay. Assuming they dont take the same road. Or I´ll wait it out here in Valparaiso and continue daytripping.

Speaking of daytripping, I took the Metro....

...to Vina del Mar, 8km north. Vina del Mar is the weekend destination for many Santiaguinos and where the rich in Valparaiso moved when the train connected the port to Santiago and urban sprawl ensued.

Here´s a cool looking building, I dont know what it is, what it does or who it belongs to, but it looked cool.

So I trotted around Vina for a couple hours snapping fotos and generally making a nuisence of myself. Here´s a 5 star resort called Hotel del Mar

Its eqaully fabulous from the backside

Until it was time to return to Valparaiso in a tailspin of ATM panic. Heres´s my return pose (BP thats a buzzword for Before Panic.)

The leg keeps getting better day by day which is good. I probably walked more kilometers on it today than any other day since the skiing incident. At least I´ll be off of it for 22 hours starting tomorrow. My posts will go dark for a couple days as I brave narrow mountain snow covered passes on poorly maintained single lane roads all the while praying to beesus my bus trip doesn´t become a one way ticket!

Relax mom, I´m just being dramatic.

A momentary lapse of minimalism?

2009-09-05T17:06:00.009-07:00

Starting this post I just want to say I received a number of emails from you adoring fans now that I´m cool. As my time is limited and my extremities aching, I´m unable to respond to each and every email. The best way for you to express your pleasure or distain is to leave a comment at the bottom of my posts. You can do it anonymously (but I´ll still know its you.)

Last night I took it easy, rested the leg and caught up on some reading. Books are heavy, and I have 4 of them, and each one adds weight like Ultegra vs Dura Ace. After jettisoning the deadweight of my ski gear and the embarrasment of my failed ski adventure, I stuffed all I could into my simple carry-on. When I awoke this morning I was struck with how good it feels NOT to have to rush off to catch a flight or a bus by setting the alarm for 3am. Here´s a shot of a wet Santiago as I was leaving this AM

As I was dressing myself I was wondering KR, where are you when I need you? I was torn between ¨should I wear the blue shirt or the green shirt.¨Then I remembered who the HELL cares? You´re in South America living out of a backpack! Its not like the fashion police are coming to get you in Santiago. I mean REALLY does the color of your shirt really affect the quality of your vacation? NO! Does your shirt define you as a person? You are not your fuckin kackis (quote borrowed from the movie ¨fight Club¨)

I chose the blue, besides they both go with the beige pants.

On the way there, I realized global corporate domination knows no boundary.

On the bus to Valparaiso I shared a couple beers with the guy in the seat next to me, Ricardo as I intently tried to disect the nuances of the chilean bastardization of the Spainish language. They seem to trail off the last syllable of every word. El mar becomes El mehhh, and so forth. Ricardo said we had to be carefull not to get caught drinking on the bus or they would fine us and kick us off.

Upon arriving in Valparaiso I was determined NOT to take a Taxi to the hotel. So armed with the famous Gates Sense of Direction and the Lonely Planet map I march off to the Hostel. Here´s a shot of my arrival.

I had reserved a single room in a hostel recommended by Lonely Planet for $12 a night. When I got here the price was $20 a night. Inquiring as to why the price had gone up, (a phenomenon I had noticed all throughout South America,) I was informed that it the had not. The problem was the dollar had gone down. Here´s a shot on the way to the Hostal

After getting what seemed like a perfectly acceptable single room, and being told that no room with a view was available, I got upgraded. A double room for the same price. Sometimes when you´re a nice person, nice things just happen to you.

Heres what it looks like.

One note: The brand Ex-Officio ROCKS! Everything they make is good, from underwear to pants to shirts. EVERTHING. I just had to say that.

Which brings me to tonight. After hoofing it up to the Hostel, some 1000 feet in vertical gain, I was wiped out and hungry. I consulted my Lonely Planet guide for the nearest place to eat, but all I found was bar Conception. Consulting the menu I saw entrees about $12, well within my minimalist price range. After sitting down and realizing that $12 was an appetizer, I said ¨screw it¨(actual language censored) and ordered anyway. It was 5 star, and one of the best meals I´ve had to date, anywhere. I started with the pumpkin soup with ginger (i´m a sucker for a good pumpkin soup) and ended with walnut encrusted osterich over risotto. With a couple pico sours, house style, I was in heaven and $50 lighter. The even threw in a desert liquor which just goes to prove that even when they give something for free it can still be CRAPPPP! (think scottish soccer houligans.)

Minimalism, I love you, just not tonight...

My Walking... or rather... Limping tour

2009-09-04T14:10:00.014-07:00

Given the limited use of my extrenities, today´s planned walking tour became a limping tour around Santiago´s city center. Guided by my trusty Lonely Planet South America on a Shoestring book, I embarked on a 3km limp to see the major sights before leaving for Valparaiso tomorrow.

First a residual word on my ski adventure. I don´t think I mentioned that I lugged an old pair of ski boots, backpack and ski suit down here with the intention of jettisoning the extra weight after my ski endevour. With the memory of my ill-fated skitrip and residual ache in my leg, I couldn´t be happier to get rid of the excess baggage. I dropped it off on the corner near my hostal with a poor lady who was sleeping on the street. She was ecstatic. Funny thing though, that 80´s dayglo ski suit used to fit me well. A little loose in the shoulders and plenty of room in the crotch. Yesterday, it was quite tight and smelling a little non-too-fresh after 5 or so years in dry dock. Maybe the reason is doesn´t fit so well anymore is my massive upper body development. Here´s a picture of me, but keep in mind I´ve just come back from the gym, so I´m a little pumped up.

I´m taking a page from the book of Hans entitled, ¨have limp will travel.¨ On the first leg of the limping tour (pun intended) I hit the Biblioteca National first for a Cafe con Leche or Cortado as they call them here.

Built in 1924 it was really quite striking. Next stop was a little arts and crafts side street which was fun. If i had better taste in those things (and maybe a little color vision) I could have really scored cool stuff. Next I hit the Cerro Santa Lucia, a park in the center town. Here´s a couple shots.

And further up.

Climbing all those stairs was a little rough, being a gimp and all, but the view at the top of the mountains that almost maimed me made it all worth while.

Here´s another shot of fountain on the way down

Next stop was the Museo de Bellas Artes. Here´s a shot from the outside

And from the inside

They had some pretty cool stuff, not the old masters of the louve or madrid but some interesting expositions. Doodling around from there I hit the stock exchange and tooled around aimlessly like I had nowhere to go (which I don´t which is what makes me so cool.)

The Spianish here is VERY different. They speak in a sing-song like voice running all the words and syllables together making it REALLY hard to figure out what they´re saying. Spainish comprehension has never been my strong suit but usually I can get by. Some people are harder to understand then others, but when its bad its like talking to a drunk low-talker. I ran into a guy in an internet cafe from Mexico that lives here now. He says it took him 3 months to get used to the speech. Its that much different.

I bought my tickets today for Valparaiso and Buenos Aires, reserved a room in a hostal and generally just meandered around. Tomorrow, Valparaiso for two days and on to Buenos Aires. From there who knows where my limp will take me.

A Bluebird sings, but what´s that song?

2009-09-03T19:10:00.012-07:00

I´m going to start this entry with a disclaimer. It´s probably not necessary, but here it goes.

This travel blog is created with the express purpose of entertainment of the author only. Any collateral enjoyment derived by any reader (invited or not) is purely coincidental and in no way reflects the intention of the author. Furthermore the incidents depicted in this blog did actually occur and any similarity to persons living or dead is intentional. With respect to grammer, punctuation and spelling the reader understands that the aformentioned entries are created spontaneously in a dark internet cafe with some guy chain smoking in the next booth with his ashtray as close to me as physically possible while talking into a skype headset so loud his voice probably carries all the way to San Diego. So you´ll excuse the rough edges.

That being said, after last nights entry I took a walking tour with Hans and Franz. For a couple of OG´s these guys are real go getters. Hans is an interesting guy, speaks a little broken English and even less broken Spainish. Half the time I can tell what language he´s speaking unless of course he´s talking to Franz and then readily identifiable as German. He has a bum hip and walks with quite a pronounced limp from a bus accident in Brazil. He receives a pension in Germany because he´s disabled and cant work, but he can walk 20 miles around Santiago with no problem. Go Figure. Our walking tour turned out to be a tour of circles around the Plaza de Armas looking for what Hans said was a ¨bar¨
Here´s a couple shots of the Plaza

And this

The only bars we found were the really dark kind with chicks in flourescent G springs serving coffee under a black light. uhhhh no thanks, not my thing. Apparently theres not much night life here in Santiago. Lonely Planet says most discoteques close in feb and open up in a neighboring town called Valpariso (my next stop.)

(authors note: These events transpired yesterday, but I was in a bad mood and the post lacked my usual wit and charm, so I cleaned it up and am sending it today friday)

Which brings me to today, but starting with yesterday, it rained most of the day here and snowed in the mountains. The weather report said today was sunny and clear. A true bluebird. 6 to 8 inches of fresh powder and clear blue skys. Dying to Ski, I set the alarm for 6, (3am your and my time) and hit the subway for Skitotal. The subway was so packed I didn´t need to hold on to anything as the bodies pressing against me kept me from falling

Doors would open and people would just keep shoving in until they were sticking out the door and it wouldn´t close. Unreal.

Skitotal rents skis and provides transportation to the ski areas. Here´s a look on the way up.

and another even closer

On the trip I met Rolan, from Austria. That guy could ski.

BTW, rope tows suck...

Georgeous, beautiful day couldn´t get any better until this guy...

...was skiing off piste in 6 inches of powder on top of hardpack and rocks and caught an edge. Third run of the day, on the recently operated on titanium leg of course, twisting it in the same direction as the fracture. Here´s my snow report right after it happened before the pain set in. I got my game face on.

So what did I do? What any good skier would, took three more runs and skied on one ski. I mean its just pain right? Heres after I realized I was done skiing. I´m a little grumpy in this one.

Here´s what the rest of my day looked like.

So again I did what any good skier would do, proceeded to elevate my leg and my blood alcohol concentration simultaneously.

So the leg feels a little better today. Good enough that I´m off on a walking tour of Santiago. At least the bluebirds song was not filled with lyrics of Doctors and crutches.

An exercise in minimalism or am I just "cheap?"

2009-09-02T10:40:00.011-07:00

Do we really need all the excess in our lives? Do we really need a $7000 bike? Does the quality of your hotel room actually matter when all you do there is sleep? Nyet, I say. Boo! to extravangance and luxury! Down with expensive German convertibles and granite countertops and expensive wine and gourmet beer. I´ve decided to simplify my life and practice a philosophy of minimalism. Some might call it being cheap, but it goes far beyond that. Minimalism is NOT cheap, its a simple, streamlined way of living that shuns decadence. There a difference. The current economic conditions and the subsequent fallout on my finances has absolutely NOTHING to do with it.

I am, however, prone to swings of the pendleum (spell checker doesn´t work in Chile, EXCUSE ME!) from wild to mellow, daredevil to risk averse, so it might be one of my phases.

So i´ve been planing this trip to South America against all economic odds. I´ll be going minimalist sytle... Oh yeah! So I´m finally on my way, Lonely Planet backpacker style.

I wont say what airline I flew this time, but lets just say it was an "american airline" and as I´m flying on "miles," I had the obligitory layover in Dallas. So I thought I´d make the traditional drinkover stop off at the Irish Bar in the airport and say HI to Jimmy the bartender. Jimmy finagled the day off so I met the the new Jimmy, Chuck

Chuck pours a little better, and forgets to charge for a beer here and there. An attitude I never tire of in a bartender.

I am happy to report that the flight landed in Santiago this morning without incident. My first shock upon landing is that Americans are charges $131 just to arrive in the airport. I guess its called reciprosity (sp?). Basically we charge them when they come to the States so they charge us. Basically we screw their tourists they screw us back. Somebody needs to get Obama on the phone and put an end to this madness. TN, you think you can handle that?

true to my minimalist dedication I beat off the throngs of Taxistas that wanted $30 for a ride to the centro and took the bus for $2.75. When I got off the bus I met a couple German tourists also looking for a hotel. This is Walter and Ullie.

I hereby dub thee.... Hans and Franz. Hans aka Walter wanted to find an old cheap hotel he stayed at 20 years ago here. Cool with me, as long as cheap. Minimalism is in style just as 40 is the new 20. Then he tells me its also a sex motel that rents by the hour. Luckily, it was closed for remolding so we went with the Lonely Planet recommendation and $15 a night buys you a solo room with bathroom down the hall in the center of town. It looks like this:

Actually I couldn´t be more pleased, heres a shot of the lobby.

So Hans, Franz and I went out walking when I had a great new idea for a business. This is really good! The more I thought about it the more feasible it sounded. Its a cross between Hooters and Starbucks. Coffee with chicks in skimpy outfits serving it to you. Then disater stuck... They already have that here in Santiago.
So the plan is not to make any plans and live the thrill of chaos without an itinerary. I´ll be skiing here a couple days before moving on... to where? I dont know, I´ll let you know when I get there. I´m so cool now that I´m cheap.

Machu Picchu

2009-02-24T14:05:00.013-08:00

Asleep by 830 up at 430a, out by 5 and on the train at 530a. These early morning schedules are becoming a habit. I´m always running on about a half a tank, of course big party night didn´t help. So I catch the train for Machu Pichu.
Here the first look at you get in the gate...
This ones for Reece where I get my physical therapy, his tee shirt and ya, I got pain man...

a>

I gotta admit they gave me an option of taking the "spanish language" tour or the "English tour" I´m embarrased to say... I took the english.. After yesterday (which was all spainish all hangover all day) my brain hurt just hearing the language. Machu Picchu blows any of the other inca sites away because the conquistidores never found it and destroyed it. Thats also why we know so little about it. Unlike other sites its 80% original. So I have tons of picures and I wont bore you with all of them. Here´s a little Machu Picchu rabbit I hope to see on the menu some day :-)

So the important thing here is that after you take the tour you have the option of climbing either Wayna Picchu, or Machu Pichu mountain. Here´s the top of Wayna Pichuand Machu Pichu Mountain.

They only let 400 people up Wayna Pichu so I opted for Machu Picchu Mountain and only saw 5 people all day. The road less traveled, always seems like a better choice. It went up a windy Inca trail...

and up some more...

Problem was I didn´t buy any water in town and the water they sell on the mountain is in 300 ml bottles for $3.33, so all I could find was 2 bottles of coca cola for hydration...

Feel free to notice the strong powerful biceps...

Finally I arrived at the top drenched in sweat. It didn´t help that that I carried all 25 pounds of ruksack (word borrowed from my english friends)on my back.

You can see how high the climb was by how small Machu Picchu looks in the lower right.

Going up was hard and it had to be at least afew thousand feet in vertical gain. But as hard as going up was, coming down was the bad news. I had the jimmy-leg the entire way and my knees are wrecked. But what a beautiful place!

Back into town, and back to Cusco. I know I´ve assimilated into the Peruvian culture when after getting off the van back from Machu Pichu my knees hurt so bad I would rather limp home then spend $1 on a taxi.

Pisco sours with Angel and Carlos and bed midnight. I spent my first night in a dorm room with three other people. That kind of sucks. Everytime somebody gets up to go to the bathroom, or tosses and turns they wake you up and vice versa im sure. Good thing I was only in there for 6 hours and it only cost 10 bucks.

Up at 6a at the airport by 7a just to get a flight delay of 4 hours due to weather. Turns out theres no radar in the airports in the interior of the country, so if the pilot cant see landing he doesn´t do it. LAN airlines cancelled 3 flights and my airline, TACA only had one flight in and out of there a day, so if they cancelled that one I wouldn´t make my connection in Lima.

But I made it and got a private room with bath for $30 back here at the good old flying dog... Tomorrow i´m on my way home and i´m sad to leave. You really need 3 weeks to do Peru right i´m convinced.Theres so much left too see, Colca canyon 10x bigger than the grand canyon, Nazca lines, arequipa, and lake titicaca (no i didn´t make that one up.)

Who´s ready to quit their job and travel South America with me? Anyone?

Tour Day, Party Night

2009-02-22T03:39:00.026-08:00

So I think I´ve acclimated to the altitude with a little caution and without too much ado. I bought some altidue adjustment pills here at a pharmacia for $5. Between that and the coca leaves I think I´ve adjusted as well as can be expected. I don´t have any symtoms of altitude sickness, aside from shortness of breath.

Today I took a tour of the city ruins. Slightly over rated IMO. Below is a foto of the monastery we visted. Interesting to note that the conquistadors built a cathedral only 4 months in 1500 something after copnquering the inca. They built it so fast by using existing Inca block walls to support the monestary. All was good until 1950 when a major earthquake struck and the spainish parts collapsed and the incan construction didn´t. They credit the incan seismic resistant construction to trapazoidal architechure. Here´s a foto of the remnants... Ya, it was a little unremarkable, but still interesting.

You really have to use your imagination to try and get a picture of what these ruins once were. The Spainish Conquistadores either demolished everything or looted them to build their own houses. The others we visited are here...

After that we toured the incan water distrubution center called sacasaywaman (pronouced something like "sexy woman")

and a few other unremarkable incan ruins...

I´ve made friends with Carlos, Luigi and Angel who leads white water rapid tours in the high season, and sells tourist packages in the low season. He made a couple bucks booking my package to Machu Picchu. Carlos is the manager of the Flying Dog Hostel here in Cusco, and Luigi works there. I know I said I wanted Anarchy and spur of the moment decisions, but I´ve succummebd to the familiariality of security and put my trust in Angel. Hey, You have to trust somebody sometime right? As a bonus we hit a few of the local haunts including Burn, the local discoteca that´s hot this season.From left to right, Me, Luigi, Angel and Carlos at the "before-party"

So this rapidly degenerated into a "party night." Ummm, let me amplify that statement, a "BIG Party Night."

So I´m letting my "inner dancer" out, and quite rapidly I realize why I keep him hidden.
I´ve never been very good at landing airplanes, but there were lots of "Airplanes" here at Burn...

We met up with some backpackers from England and danced and drank all night. I danced with Mille.

and her friend Patience...

Angel and Carlos´planes crashed so they left, mine was still flying and looking like it might land.

Here a couple of the noteworthy exchanges:

Millie comments, "You´re really good looking for an American." I think there´s a compliment in there somewhere, but i´m still trying to find it.
"How long are you here for?" Millie asks
"8 days" I answer.
She laughs HA HA HA HA HA !!! Apparently anything less then 3 months in South American is a crime in the thriving underworld of the backpacker subculture. Those fiends.

At this point millie´s friend is dancing with this guy who is a really good dancer, but nothing is happening. So I decide to talk to the guy and see if I can get something going as it will probably improve my.. umm odds. Did I mention he was a REALLY good dancer? So I´m talking to this guy and it went something like this:
"Dude, she´s waiting for you to kiss her."
"Its no good, it wont work." he replies
"How do you know unless you try?" I insist
He replies "Hey, I´m comfortable with my sexuality"
I can hear the voice in my head "Ladies and Gentlemen we´ve just lost cabin pressure"

So at 6am they closed the discoteca kicked us out, and after my plane crashed I was walking back to the Flying Dog when I ran into Luigi. Interesting note Luigi is stright out of the jungle, in fact he was attacked by an anaconda and has the scars on his leg to prove it.

I packed up my bags and at 7a I´m waiting for an hour and a half for Angel to show up and get me on the Sacred Valley tour. No point in sleeping as I´ll never wake up if I do. Luigi crashed on the couch in the lobby and I ammused myself by waking him up every 15 minutes, alternating with "Dude are you asleep?", and "Dude, are you awake?"

So Angel never shows, too hung over to get out of bed so I head off anyway to my tour because he told me if I wasn´t up at 830 I would lose my tickets. I found the bus and got on and toured the sacred valley.

Here´s what the hike up to Pisac looked like
and from the top....
I´m thinking a little snow and chair lift and were in business!
and from the very top...

At the top, I´m either dead tired and hungover... or MAYBE I´m going for the quiet-mysterious-seriously-tortured look that women love to save... Really, it could work, ya you´re right, probably not...

The next highlight on the sacred valley tour was Ollantaytambo, which was probably the most facinating yet. 70 ton blocks of granite moved the top of a nearby mountain 7 kms away, (ya they use that weird backwards metric system here.)Here´s a shot of my third climb of the day with only 15 minute gurn naps between destinations to sustain me...

Being that this is the rainy season, I´ve been pretty lucky not to get caught in a downpour. Sometimes in rains at night, but clears in the day.Finaly in the town of Ollantaytambo we get caught in a downpour.

I get to break out my Costco rain gear, but it makes me look like the unibomber in Oakleys.

Angel and Carlos drove out to drop off my tickets and tomorrow Machu Picchu!

Were Sorry- Your friend American Airlines

2009-02-20T19:28:00.007-08:00

Up at 3am, at the airport at 4am for a 540a flight to Cusco. This is what you get when you book a budget flight from Lima to Cusco. Trying to save a couple bucks I booked a flight from the U.S. on the internet on TACA airlines. Its no wonder it was cheap, noone wants to get up this early. I think im still jet lagged from the flight over and when the alarm went off at 3, I immediately felt beat up and the feeling hasn´t left me all day.

I did however get the following condolence message about my near death experience in Miami from American Airlines.

Dear Mr. Gates:
Our manager in Miami was concerned and asked us to follow up with you regarding your flight with us on February 17. We can understand how frustrating that trip must have been when flight 2111 unexpectedly returned to the airport.

As our personnel indicated at the time, a mechanical problem developed en route to Lima, and the flight returned to Miami so our specialists could take a look at the situation. While our personnel worked hard to minimize the inconvenience, we realize your important travel plans were disrupted. I am truly sorry.

In appreciation for your patience, we've added 3,000 Customer Service bonus miles to your AAdvantage® account.

3,000 miles? Wow, I haope they dont break the bank with that one. 3000 miles also assumes I´d ever use airline miles to fly again... Im gonna have to go with NO on that one. I do plan to write a response and Ill post when I do.

So I landed in Cusco at 8a (11,000 feet above sea level), out of breath with every 3 steps, feeling a little clammy and none too fresh. I made my way to the Plaza de Armas and NO ONE has ever heard of the Flying Dog Hostal here. Not knowing what to do, I fall back on an old friend... I mean really, is there ever a bad time for a good cigar?
I found the flying gurn Hostal and its really nice, all except my room. The hot water is a little hard to use, just a little warming machine on the wall in the shower that works best at a trickle. Kinda like being peed on, (NOT that I know what thats like!)

I bought a bag of coca leaves from a street vendor, the time honored method of acclimatizing to altitude here and began chewing them, you know, when in rome. They don´t taste too good but they make my mouth a little numb so they must be working right? I guess the Coca is some sort of vasodialator. They say the inca runners that ran from Cusco to Macchu Pichu chewed these things and ran for three days straight, without eating or sleeping. They must have had a very different coca leaf then I have because i´m not getting that at all. I guess Ill just have to keep trying ;-) I wonder if that would make me test positive in an out of competition drug test ?

Ive been know to have some problems with altitude namely when skiing Ill wake up the first night with a migraine type headache, so Im being careful no alcohol no caffeine. I guess I´m lucky, I´ve heard stories of super fit people throwing up for three days when they get here. They say how you react to altitude is all genetic, thanks Mom!

I´ve spent 3 hours of the day napping, and the rest getting the lay of the land. Cool cobblestone streets and ultra narrow cars able to navigate them. I had lunch in San Blas with George, a washed up contractor from Arizona that took 6 months off work to backpack around South America. I{ve met english australians and dutch along with English, all spending months traveling all over remote SA destinations. Up until now I thought I was well traveled.

I think the riot police from Lima must have called ahead and told their buddies I was on my way because when I got here these dudes were waiting for me.

Im off this afternoon for a tour of the ancient incan cities around cusco, then tomorrow the Sacred valley and Macchu Piccu. They had this 4 day mountain bike tour to macchu piccu that I missed because I didnt plan ahead enough. Im really bummed to miss that one... Setting up tours is a little dodgy (a word Ive adopted from my English friends) because you never know who to trust. I{ve heard horror stories where the guide gets you 4 days up the inca trail and leaves you there with no train ride home even after you paid for it. So Ill just wing it and see what happens

My "special purpose" in life...

2009-02-19T10:35:00.015-08:00

I think I´ve found my "special pupose" in life, (think Steve Martin in the Jerk,) it is... world travel. OK, so thats not a great revelation. My only problem is this crazy thing called "work" and its by product "money" keep getting in my way.

In case you were wondering, there is no good beer in Lima. The best I´ve found is a dark beer called Cusquena. its a 5.6 more like a stout, and tastes very much like Negra Modelo. Maybe my special purpose is to bring craft brewing to South America. I´ll have to explore this more, travel various countries down here and write a business plan. I think it could work, it´d sure be fun trying!

Lima is HOT, tempature wise. Today is 80´s and sunny. Yesterday had to be 90´s and cloudy. Hydration is key, and the local supermarcado sells 2.5 liter bottles of the local brand of water (made by the Coca Cola bottling company)for about 30 cents, that unless you want Evain and its 3 bucks...

My roomate took off for Bolivia this morning, waking me at 630a after we stayed
up till 130a sampling the future competition, beer that is...Time got away from us swapping stories of bike crashes and pros that got caught doping in the peloton. He´s off to establish residency in Bolivia and find a job working in a bike shop and riding his mountain bike through the local trails. I have a funny feeling that is my next destination ,-) (thats the best smiley face I can figure out how to make on this funky keyboard...)

Keeping with my tradition of sampling the local dishes, I had Cuy today (fried ginea pig.) They say it tastes like.... sweet pork. HA! you thought I was going to say chicken! I say it tastes like um, nothing I´ve really had before. Kind of stringy, a little chewy and not much meat on those little bones. I kept thinking to myself "didn´t I have a pet one of these as a kid?" I also couldn´t help feeling grateful for the low dose of antibiotics I started before leaving, just in case I get a little too adveturous and sick... Not a great one but here´s a pic. you can just make out the little rat like head...

The Hostels are pretty informal and its nice being with like-minded 20somethings carrying backpacks, you know, such as me (insert smiley face here.) Saving a little cash isn´t bad either. Here´s a picture of the Flying Dog...
Heres a picture from the lounge at night...

I´ve already booked a private room in Cusco at the Flying GurnDog there too. So much for being a stranger in a strange land with no plans. Each time I land I feel so foreign I want to just present myself and say, "take me to your leader..."

Due to my short stay here in Lima I´m taking the touristy tour bus today to see the city...The bus leaves from John F Kennedy park. They have a statue in his honor right accross the park (named after him)pics here.
and from the bus trip... churches old buildings bla, bla bla...
Oh and of course the same old obligatory million year old cathedral and ancient catacombs you see in every city...
They estimate that 25,000 people are buried under this church, here´s whats left of a few hundred of them...

I was thinking of raising a little hell, you know jumping in on some protests, throwing rocks and clashing with the police, you know the usual. Then I saw this...(notice the water cannons on top)

I was still considering it when this rolled up...

Ohh no..set back! Sort of... I found the local fumadora with my favorite Cuban Cigar.. Partagas series D no. 4. yummy but dangerous considering their about 30% less than Tijuana...

Lots of local "talent" here. Let´s just say Lima is a "feature rich" environmet.

I´m off to Cusco in the morning bright and early 540a I´ll write from there...

Hudson in Miami

2009-02-18T10:30:00.006-08:00

I arrived in Lima this morning, but not without a litle drama. This "free" airline ticket with American comes with some strings attached, namely an airport stopover tour of the continental united states. San Diego to Dallas, Dallas to Miami, and Miami to Lima, with just enough of stop over in each city to be annoying. I made friends with the Jimmy-leg at my drinkover, uh I mean stopover in Dallas, after 2 rounds he insisted on this ...

The drama came just as we were leaving Miami heading out over the ocean when the pilot got on the loudspeaker and anounced that we were heading back to the airport...As he´s translating that in spanish we can hear the alarms shrieking in background as we begin a RAPID descent back to Miami. As we´re landing there must have been 20 fire trucks lining the side of the runway all with their red lights flashing. Most of us were looking for the Hudson river at that point...Turns out some crazy vibration caused the "stall alarm" to falsely register. After switching airplanes we got to Lima 3 hours late.

I struck up a conversation with the guy in seat next to me, Ed,turns out he´s headed for Bolivia to ride a mountain bike for 6 months. We´re rooming at the Hostal together. This is what $35 a night buys you in Lima at the Flying Dog Hostal
At least we have our own kitch and bathroom

I´m staying in the miraflores section of Lima and its very spanish here and I like it alot! Reminds me of Spain, maybe say in the 80´s...

I´m pretty beat up today, so its kind of been a "getting acclimated" day. Its all about the fish here in Lima and I had a great ceviche mixto for lunch. Things are generally cheap here in Lima even for a big city, but like anything else add up quickly.

I washed my REI camping clothes out in the sink, I wont do that again. What a pain. On top of that, I left my xani´s in the super secret pocket and accidentally washed them too. Turns out theres a lavanderia next to the hostal that will wash clothes for a buck or two. Speaking of Bucks what would any sacred destination of all that is holy be without one of these...

Tonight its happy hour at the hostel and tomorrow I´ll venture out and see the sites before flying to Cusco friday morning. Turns out there a Carnivale celebration there and getting a bus is next to impossible. Im glad i´m flying...

PPP or Pre Planning Peru

2009-02-04T21:26:00.011-08:00

PPP Paul's Pre-Planning Peru, or Paul's Peru-PrePlanning (you pick your poison) has been markedly affected by the GED or "Global Economic Downturn." Followed closely by the "Global Economic Downturn" is the "Paul Economic Downturn" which, quite frankly, concerns me far more.

Bringing you up to speed, I've had a trip to Peru planned for the last 6 months, the result of expiring air miles and an insatiable thirst for global travel.

OK, back to Peru. I've wanted to see Machu Pichu, the city in the clouds for years and to explore South America in general. So I decided to go on a shoestring budget. I am shedding my elitist attitude and getting back to basics for this one. South America, backpacker style. Hostels, washing my REI camping clothes in the sink, and one backpack. Just the streamlined bare essentials. Can I do it? We shall see, oh ye of little faith.

So my itinerary looks like this..

Lima Feb 18-19
Cusco Feb 20-22
Machu Pichu Feb 22-24
Lima back to the states Feb 25th

You're all invited to follow along, especially if you'll be reading my entries while wasting your employers time...

Baja 1500 Contined and Concluded

2008-12-01T17:43:00.006-08:00

…So this is the point in the ride where you start to get to know your fellow riders… really well. In fact, I think before couples should be allowed to marry I think they should be required to travel together for at least 6 weeks. Nothing is a better trial by fire then travel. When travelling with someone, you have to agree on what to eat, how much to spend, when to sleep and wake. I’m beginning to learn who is cheap, who is a mooch, who tries to squirrel out of the bill or shorts the dinner tab, who I get along with and who to avoid. Actually most of us get along pretty well, bonded by the common goal of finishing the ride. That being said, my roommate (who is now a support driver as his bike died on day one) switched roommates (what snoring? :-) ) here in Loreto leaving me to pair up with the only other odd man out on the trip. This actually works out well as my new roomie lugged an espresso maker, grinder and two pounds of Starbucks beans from the U.S. In the morning he makes Lattes for the group and we call it Scott-bucks time!

Pictures are worth a thousand words

OK, so where was I? Ahh Day 5 Loreto to San Ignacio-233 miles. I duct taped over my blisters (pretty hardcore for an insurance guy huh? :-) and washed my riding gear in the shower. We started the day with the classic Baja silt beds. Silt is like talcum powder, it gets in everything, obscures your vision and is really hard to control the bike through. We got really lucky on this trip because with all the rains the silt beds are packed down and not dusty at all. Today is sun up to sun down riding, a long day of twisting roads, some mountain passes, lots of baja desertscape, but mostly wide open long flat stretches of dirt. Not my favorite type of riding terrain but you take the good with the not so good. Ernie got back up on his 2000 Suzuki (fossil edition) apparently he had a bad seal in his carb that wasn’t allowing gas into the engine. All in all we felt good today and we weren’t expecting to considering how beat up we were just a couple days ago. Not much in San Ignacio, a nice old church but IYSOYSTA (If You’ve Seen One You’ve Seen Them All) no cell service again pinche Verizon. Nice hotel here, La Pinta, big rooms but pricey at $89 it must be the only one in San Ignacio.

Day 6 San Ignacio to Bahia de Los Angeles 187 miles We started the day with lots of mechanicals. Mario was leaking gas, Steve stripped his counter shaft nut and sprocket and had to JB Weld–it to the bike (in technical terms the countershaft sprocket in the little thingy that turns the chain and drives the bike.) Mostly wide open rocky roads that guarantee someone is going to get a pinch flat, and Ernie did. Bahia de los Angeles is a sleepy little fishing village with a mian drag, couple of mini marts and a couple of licor stores. No cell service or internet. On the up side we had one of the best lobster dinners ever (most of us were in agreement) for $15. Most of us noticed that our bikes are getting pretty beat up by this time. Most all of us have rear sprockets that are wearing so bad the splines are thining and curved from the chain wear. If those things shear off my ride is over. Time to ride at 60% of max just to be sure I can finish, nobody wants to have to take the free ride of shame in the support truck.

Day 7 Bahia de Los Angeles to San Felipe 220 miles – much of the same terrain as yesterday and not too much action. At this point in the ride I am struck by how friendly the people are to us. They love off roaders down here. Largely due to the popularity of the Baja 1000 down here. Still it amazes me. We can be ripping through their pastures, meadows and roads, spooking their horses, livestock and goats and still people wave, honk and flash their lights at us. Little kids come out of their houses and schools to watch us ride by, signalling for wheelies, which Scott is always happy to oblige. Our bodies have adjusted to the rigors and demands of riding day after day and we are all pretty comfortable on the bikes by now. No cell service again… drats. Here's a picture of the sunrise in San Felipe...

Day 8 San Felipe to Tecate 230 Miles- This was one of the most brutal days ever. We started out from San Felipe riding through a 35 mph sand storm blowing sand sideways into our helmets. As we climbed the mountains into Valle de Trinidad the temp dropped to 37 degrees and it started raining lightly. Any rain on a motorcycle is brutal. Its like saying its hot but it’s a “dry heat.” Total BS. By the time we hit Ojos Negros we lost two more riders that couldn’t take the cold and rain. It really started coming down now and as we climbed the mountains into Tecate it only got worse. First pouring rain, mud everywhere, then snow and rain again as we dropped into Tecate. Most of us couldn’t feel our fingers or feet as the gloves got soaked from rain and puddles. Goggles useless by this point. From Santa Victoria to Tecate is about 30 miles of pavement. In rain with no goggles I had to shield the stinging drops from my face with one hand and ride with the other. Making matters worse is that our bikes are so beat up by this point we had maybe 3 tail lights and four headlights… between the seven of us. It was all I could do to follow the bouncing red ball that was the tail light in front of me. With no moon and pitch black freezing rain conditions, the only thing driving us on is the desire to finish and be one of the ones to actually ride across the border. It became like an endurance event…just … have.. to.. finish. By the time we reached the border our nerves were frazzled from harrowing ride in the pitch black of the moonless night and from being passed anxious motorists wanting to drive faster then 40mph. One of our riders described it this way: (you’re gonna love this Mom…)
…with the climax scene being the crazy idiot in the car which failed to complete the pass as it came up head-on against an oncoming semi around a blind turn in the pouring rain in the pitch black darkness of the 1-1/2 lane wide Highway 3, with the leading bikes forced over to the dubious right edge of the asphalt where the white concrete posts were whizzing by at bizarre angles, while the right-side semi tires dropped off the pavement to give exactly 2.5 inches of clearance for the car to pass at speed? Definitely a scene out of Road Warriors Escape From Baja III. I just wish I had a recording of the Chatterboxes right there... that was total mayhem & full-on panic mode.

Finally splitting lanes up to the border my bike over heated about 4 cars from the gate and Scott’s stopped running. In the end 7 of 12 of us finished the whole ride and 3 of 7 of us pushed our bikes across the border. High fives and beers on the other side… I wouldn’t have missed this one for the world… What a great adventure. I got back Saturday night and have been recovering ever since.

If it doesn’t sting a little its not an adventure… We are already planning the next one… Braaaap!

Baja 1500 Dec 2007

2008-11-15T22:36:00.005-08:00

Morning !!!!

My alarm went off at 330 (set for for 5) and I cant fall back asleep....

A group of riders and I set off for the Baja ride of a lifetime 2 days ago, 8 days 1200 miles tracing the trail of the Baja 1000 from 2 years ago. 1200 miles of dirt bike riding bliss!Amazing the pros do this ride in 17 hours what takes us 8 days. We had our motorcycles trailered down last week by a couple of or riders. Bringing you up to speed, we all chipped in $250 and bought a double axle trailer, had it modified to fit 12 bikes and gear bags, and planned this adventure for the last 3 months. Last week a couple of our riders drove the support trucks and trailer to Cabo where we all flew in and started the adventure. It POURED rain the first night in Cabo and the tequila and beer were flowing!

Day one was Cabo to La Paz and had lots of wide open riding mixed in with some beach and sand and rocky mountain passes. 166 miles saw the defeat of the first Honda 450 X bike down with a bad stater or ignition (Arizona Mike). In La Paz we stayed at a drive up motel called Haciendas del mar. Apparently it was a sex motel with garages in each unit so you could pull your in and not have it discovered by your significant other. We got it for the garage factor, security for the bikes. Mario¢¥s suite had a disco ball a pole and a jacuzzi! In addition to hamburgers on the room service menu was Viagra. Kinda scarry sleeping in the beds there. Heres a pic of the scenery we had to endure...

Day 2 was the most brutal yet, 207 miles from La Paz to Cuidad Constitucion. A couple of our guys got lost on the city streets and made an illegal U-turn on a one-way street in full view of a cop. After paying $50 each, they, as well as the rest of the group were well ready to get out that town. There's 35,000 people and nothing there. Middle of baja. There's not one reason for anyone to be in that shit hole town. Here's a pic of a horse that wouldn't let us pass (im riding second)

We were really fortunate to have rain in the weeks prior to us getting here. The conditions were fantastic! The wet ground keeps the dust down and the traction up. In fact in some were swimming through so much mud that we were covered and our bikes caked in thick mud. Never the less it was a great day, dawn to sunset riding wide open trails mixed in with single track, and 40 miles of whoops just to make sure we tired enough. Ron lost the 5th gear on his 99 Yahama POS bike and is now one of our official full time support drivers. If we lose anymore bikes we are going to run out of passenger space in the support vehicles! Taking a break on the trail is our motley bunch...

Day 3 was the best yet. 134 miles from Cuidad Constitucion to Loreto. Mountain passes and water crossing with double track and hill climbs up through mountains. So many water crossings that our bikes are now spotless from all the mud of yesterday!

Perfect weather and the ground is still moist making for epic conditions. We zigged zagged through the mountains and stopped for while at a 300 year old church in the middle of nowhere hosting a 4 day long party in honor of the Saint that founded the church. Dancing horses and mexican cowboys as far as the eye could see. We lost another bike, Ernies 2000 Suzuki DRZ (which is so old it had no business on this trip to begin with). Ernie contemplates his fate with Dooglas...

So its Day 4 and a rest day in Loreto. Our hotel is right on the sand with all rooms a full ocean view. This is a much needed rest day to recuperate, work on the bikes a little and just recharge. All of us are sore head to toe. We¢¥have blisters on our throttle hands and everybody's ass is sore. After 3 days, 500 miles and 6-8 hours per day in the saddle we are exhausted and loving every minute of it!. Clem decided to strum us a tune...

We only have 4 riding days left and if you look on the map Loreto is only a quarter of the way to Tecate. We either have some long days ahead or we need to add an extra day to get it done. Only Team KTM is still intact. Team Honda, Suzuki, and Yamaha have had casualties. I keep telling these guys how much better KTM's are. Since I'm the only KTM rider and very vocal about it, I have to make it or I'll never live it down!
There's no cell service here or in the last couple cities (verizon anyway) so i'll write again in a couple days.

Over and out...

China From Shanghai

2007-11-05T22:23:00.004-08:00

I wrote you all an email yesterday and apparently I kicked the dsl modem under the desk here at the hotel and the connection crashed losing my hour long email/diatribe/adventure journal. This pained me greater then you all as I know you hang on my every word and my communications complete you !

We've been in Shanghai for the last three days but before we left we held a Kung Fu exhibition in Fushon City . It was by far the grandest one yet with close to a thousand people turning out. Stranger yet, it was sponsored by Walmart and Pepsi,

The performers were again treated like celebrities, kids wanting their pictures taken with them and autographs.

Shanghai is by far my favorite city yet in China . It has everything, old new, expensive and budget, fashion and bargains.HA!

It is a city of 18 million people but only 400 years old, young for China where Beijing has thousands of years of history. Here's some of the older...

Our hotel is a step below the previous two to say the least. One traveler described it as "old European" which is actually code for one step above rat trap. My room has that old lingering cigarette smell that wont go away when you open the windows. I'm not complaining though as once again I have my own room. Hopefully my luck will continue in Beijing as we leave for the airport in half hour.

When we arrived here we say the Budt section a river walk, here's a night time skyscape scene

that I thought was fairly unremarkable except for the dyhard persistant street vendors selling fake Rolexes and chairman mau watches. The street vendors were on us like trailer trash on velveeta. At one point I pulled my cash out of my pocket preparing to separate bills to make a deal when I heard this voice over my shoulder in a Chinese accent "you want buy something? You want buy something?" I said without looking "go away leave me alone" but he persisted. Finally I turned around and it was Grandmaster offering to give me advice on bargaining.

Shanghai has three different districts the Pu-dong, the pu-chi and the Pu-to. The tour guide always repeats the names of the districts three times. The guys on trip think I get a lot of mileage out those words as I'm always chuckling as Puto means something different where I come from. The Skyline here is incredible. Foreign investment is encouraged and buildings are tall colorful and incorporate unusual shapes and designs. When we arrived we took a river cruise by night and the views are fantastic. The Japanese are building the tallest building structure in the world in the shape of a samurai sword to be finished next year.

Yesterday we visited traditional Chinese gardens and if you've seen one, you've seen em all. We also visited a small water city only accessable by car after 1988. They call it the Venice of China with a complex system of locks connecting two large rivers.

We also visited a silk factory and learned all about how silk is made just before they ushered us into the gift shop. I'm sure I'm going to hell for this shot...

The air quality is as bad as I remember it or worse. Shanghai actually has the cleanest air in China and coming here was the first time I've seen blue sky or sun since we arrived. The smog is so bad in parts of china the sky is always gray and the becomes a red orange obscurred blob.

It supposed to be rain and snow in Beijing which will be quite a change from the heat wave we had last year.

Beijing 2 White Dragon Kung Fu Trip 2007

2007-11-03T22:31:00.002-08:00

So where did I leave off? Beijing. We had five nights and three days (thats the new math) in Bejing. The Hotel is really nice, I mean REALLY nice. Not quite Penninsula nice but right there with it. All the nicer, I have my own room again.

The first two tour days the group went off to the forbidden city, Tienagurn Square and some of the other local haunts I saw last year so I took a couple days off away from the group and did my own thing. Walked the city, went to the silk market had some clothes made, and shopped.

Meanwhile back at the farm this cold has really set in and hit me hard. I would say 85% of the 85 people on this trip are or have been sick from this thing. What really put me over the edge was a few of us (less then puritan Kung Fu types) found out the bar at the hotel had a happy hour, all-you-can- drink any-booze-you-want for $10. Well we drank em blind on black label and Carlsberg beer until they closed the place. The next morning I woke up with this cold full force. OK my fault.

The third day in Beijing we went to see the temple of heaven where the emperor would come pray for a good harvest. Its quite spectactular and ornate with colors and carvings everywhere. It's been rebuild, or restored as the Chinese say, in 2005 and looks brand new. Here's a pic

The second half of the day we visited the summer palace which was quite remarkable perched high on a hill in front of a huge man made lake. Apparently the Dragon Lady, a concubine of the emperor that gave birth to the emperor's son ran China into the ground after the emperor died diverting money from the navy to build the summer palace. Subsequently the Japanese came invaded and conquered China. Pictures on Flickr when I get back. Or here now...

Yesterday we took a flight from Beijing to Hong Kong, getting up at 4a and not flying until 8a (a disadvantage of traveling with a group so large). We flew on a 737 which always kills my ears. Exhausted in Hong Kong (and already having been here) I cacooned in my room (oh yes, private once again the famous Gates luck saves the day) and slept 12 hours.

We fly out today and sadly our time together must come to an end, like all good things in life. We take off today, which is monday for you tuesday for me, we land 2 hours before we take off, tues for the both of us. Confused? Ya me too....

Beijing White Dragon Kung Fu Trip 2007

2007-11-01T22:29:00.001-08:00

Happy happy and merry merry, Thanksgiving that is.

We arrived in Beijing yesterday, the whole day consumed by travel flying from Shanghai to Beijing. While the flight was only 2 hours getting a group of 85 people to the airport, checked in, and through security requires extra time and planning. Plus we sat on the tarmac for 35 minutes before taking off. Airtravel is not a exact science when it comes to flying in China. The flight from Guangzhou airport to Shanghai was an interesting tale. We took off from Guangzhou airport the largest airport in the world and believe me the Chinese make sure you know it. 300 foot high ceilings and building that span for miles. Problem was we sat on the tarmac for three hours while the chinese airforce conducted surprise exercises over shanghai. Apparently they can just do that whenever they feel like it and passenger airtraffic comes to a screeching halt.

Before leaving Shanghai a bunch of us went for massages (not the rub and tug kind.) We got an hour of foot reflexology and an hour of full body work all for $13. Believe me, the 4'10" chinese gal digging her elbows into my back knew what she was doing. I hadn't realized how tight my upper body has become until then.

We just arrived in Bejing and I dont have much to report but I can give you a food update. While I've been trying EVERYTHING they put in front me I've noticed the difference between southern and northern China cuisine. Basically, they south is pretty bland, the north (shanghai) is better and Beijing rocks ! I told someone on the trip that I was trying everything and they commented, "Yeah but are you enjoying it?" I had to think about it for a minute but the answer is no, not really. I'm just sort of going through the motions. Last night however we had a REALLY good meal of dumplings. By far the best and most satisfying meal yet. I'm not discounting the possibility that my pallate has become so desensitized that even the worst day old fast food would be good about now.

The group headed off to the forbiden city and Tienamen Square this morning without me. I opted out after already having been there last year. The hotels we stay at give us wake up calls as a group pretty early, so I decided to take the phone off the hook and xanax it, i mean sleep it. Oh those willy Chinese ! They were prepared for that eventuality. They actually sent someone up to my room and knocked. Figuring they would just go away, I didn't answer and they actually opened the door and came in my room and woke me up. Drats....

These damn puritan Kung Fu people, not a partier among the bunch. I can't say I blame them too much. Paying kick-your-teeth in hotel or bar prices for 3.5% rice beer gets pretty old fast. Boy what I would'nt pay right now for a good Stone or Pizza Port IPA. I hear the group from England likes to rage a little, maybe i'll see if I can get in with them.

I'm headed off to the pearl market gift shopping for the lucky few of you :-)

In case you were wondering, Beijing doesn't have turkey, stuffing or cranberrys...

Bidding you all adieu (sp?) and best thanksgiving wishes ! Is Thanksgiving today tomorrow or yesterday? I'm lost in the space time continuium of international travel... HELP !

Hong Kong What Day Is It?

2007-10-30T22:27:00.007-08:00

I had inteneded to write sooner then this but we have been so heavily scheduled there just hasn't been any free time to sit down and type until now.

We landed in Hong kong 2 days ago, but it seems like a week. The flight went well, all 14 hours of it. I read, dozed, and took some Xanax. Repeat that about three times and that was my flight. I guess I was lucky, one instructor had a screaming child behind him the whole flight that kept kicking his chair... It can always be worse right?

We didn't spend too much time in Hong Kong, just long enough to browse the avenue of the stars (think hollywood and add Bruce Lee and Jacky Chan to the sidewalk.)
That's Bruce Lee...

Jackie is the Payton Manning of commercials here. He's on everything from shampoo to Ice cream.

From Hong Kong we took a hydrofoil type Ferry to Jiangmen China. Jiangmen is a southern chinese city of about 3 million with the prodominant industry light manufacturing. So there's not much to see in the ways of sights and even less tourists. So much so that when I went to the mall (adjacent to the hotel) people would stop and stare at me. Maybe it was just my dashing good looks :-) The Hotel here in Jiangmen is as lavash and opulent as any I have ever seen. Last years Peninsula in Beijing included. OK so there's no 50 inch plasma in the room, but its almost as big as a suite with a separate area with a sitting chair and full sized couch. The Hotel, called the Yucca, makes the best coffee I think I've ever had. I don't know how they do it, but its one cup at a time and $4 for a size not much larger than an espresso. Its one of the only things I've spent money on here so far.

We visited a small villiage called King Mui where our particular brand of Kung Fu, Choy Li Fut was invented. We visited the founders house and were greeted by dancing lions and firecrackers by the chinese students.

We went to a few Kung Fu schools and watched many different Kung Fu exhibitions with many of our guys performing. Kinda cool to know the americans can hold their own with the Chinese. If fact at every school we stop at they treat us like celebraties. They take pictures of us and shake our hands as we walk in the schools. People come out their houses or stand in the windows or balconies to watch us and we walk by. The exhibitions here are really cool and I've seen some great performances.

We visited the Jade Terrace Temple, quite a sight. I used to say if you've one (insert temple/cathedral/palace here) you've seen em all, but this one was quite breathtaking. The roof was tile, like our spanish tile but made of Jade. Neeto.

The food has been pretty good, still a little hard to get accustomed to. They feed us so much and so often and its all included in the package price. I am continuing my tradition of trying everything they put in front of me. I've stopped asking "what is it?" Nobody seems to know anyway so whats the point? Its a little trying at times and I have to admit like last night when some really fishy smelling mussels or oyesters came around and I saw three people try them and cringe... OK I admit I skipped that ONE plate. I did break down this morning and have the western buffet, eggs french toast and bacon. It was worth the $11.

I think most of us here all have the same general feeling of mild fatigue. All the heavy travel, sleep disruption and jet lag tends to wear a person down and throw off the system. On the bright side, the roomate I was supposed to have switched to another traveler and I have my own room hopefully for the full trip. We'll see but I'm on night three and loving it! All the exhibitions are over so things should calm down with the schedule. We fly into Shanghai tomorrow, I'm looking forward to that.

Now if I could just figure out what day it is...